Ramblings of a sick woman

I didn't go to work today. I have been coughing the last couple of days...but I've been fine. Today...I couldn't go. I hit a wall. Or, rather, I felt like something hit me. Usually I fantasize about what I'd do if only I could have a day off...what do I do when I get one...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Damn mortality.

I have been so clumsy this week. My brother called me after I had came home for lunch yesterday. Apparently I had left the oven on & went back to work. The day before I had spilled my coffee all over the place right at the moment the vendor I was calling picked up her phone. I think it's my equilibrium or something.

I've been taking this stuff for my migraines...Topamax & have been having disturbing yet vivid dreams. I start remembering them at the oddest times...usually in the middle of a conversation at work...I know dreams are symbols that your subconscious uses to make sense of things in your life. Why doesn't your conscious understand what those symbols stand for?

I have registered almost everysingleday since Jan. 1 to win the HGTV Dream Home in Winter Park, Colorado...I wonder if I have a shot??? I think I'd sell it pronto & turn around & flip a bunch of houses & make some serious bank. I'll do that as my career & travel in between flips. It'd be FABULOUS!

I hate Baton Rouge.

I hate Louisiana.

I hate my frizzy, wavy hair...most people don't even know that's what it looks like. I straighten it every day. I want to cut it all off after I get married.

I want to start RUNNING. Yup...I'm going to do it for real. Can someone please hold me accountable & ask me if I'm doing it? Let me get well first. I'll try to start off in the morning before work. I need some endorphins!

When I woke up this morning I found a cut-out heart with a love note from Mike. It was so sweet. He's not the love-note-writing type...he buys cards & stuff, but doesn't usually do this. I found the scissors & scraps of left over paper. It had such a profound affect on me...I can't even describe it...it's little things like that that are really SO BIG to me!

Oh & I think my public speaking issues have everything to do with self-confidence or lack thereof...it has came & went over the years. I got nothing but compliments the last time, so that boosts it a little. It's the anticipation of failure maybe??? I dunno...I think if you have awesome public speaking skills then there isn't hardly anything you can't do! I'll conquer & prevail...i hope.