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Thursday, December 30, 2004

now I understand poor Helena (from a Midsummer Night's Dream)

DEMETRIUS I love thee not, therefore pursue me not. Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? The one I'll slay, the other slayeth me. Thou told'st me they were stolen unto this wood; And here am I, Hence, get thee gone, and follow me no more. HELENA You draw me, you hard hearted adamant! DEMETRIUS Do I entice you? do I speak you fair? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth Tell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you? HELENA And even for that do I love you the more. I am your dog; spurn me, strike me, Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, Unworthy as I am, to follow you. DEMETRIUS Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit; For I am sick when I do look on thee. HELENA And I am sick when I look not on you. DEMETRIUS I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes, And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts. HELENA The wildest hath not such a heart as you. DEMETRIUS I will not stay thy questions; let me go: Or, if thou follow me, do not believe But I shall do thee mischief in the wood. HELENA You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius! We cannot fight for love, as men may do; We should be wooed and were not made to woo. Exit DEMETRIUS I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well. Exit

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I need a title!

this has been a work in progress for a while now...I have given it a tentative title "Journey" waddya think? I'm open to suggestions. by Christine E. Schultz As nightmare morphed into reality an anguished spirit seized power over me. Reason fled, escaping my insanity. My soul was imprisoned, as if inside a statue, But my eyes could still see. Fumbling about on broken feet. Pain’s signal journeyed through my body. With every pulsing beat, like someone stabbing me repeatedly with a cold, steel blade ripping through me. Barely attached, my soul drifted above me as if by string. Watching the dead woman walking Mechanically… The blind woman’s eyes Trying not to see, what she could see. Ahead the road stretched to infinity. Behind I could see it winding jaggedly, Glimpsing cliffs and trenches of my journey, Strewn with millions of pieces of me. The world still functioned, peculiarly, blindly uncaring about what was happening. Fatigued legs were no longer able to carry me. With nothing left, I reached above with arms weary. I started to climb the ladder That wouldn’t end. Rung by rung I reached with limbs that wouldn’t bend. The task too daunting, I let go, falling and falling and falling. I welcomed death on impact, But the ground below was opening. I tried to stop but couldn’t act, And the descent continued unrelentingly. I fought furiously my unseen enemy, But gravity wouldn’t loosen its grip on me. Violently squirming and writhing and turning. Furiously fighting the air to be free, Free from this burning futility, This agony of exertion, Of too much space surrounding me. Closing my eyes I folded myself inside. Struggling no more, I could faintly hear The opening of some distant door. I became weightless, as light as a feather but one matted and torn; A veteran from many a violent storm. With senses returning, I slowed to a float. With gradual clarity Came a musical note. The "Fur Elise" danced through the air. Taken immediately, I became increasingly aware. The wilted, thirsty flower that had become me Began drinking it in, greedily. As I pulled my soul back into me, vibrant colors painted my world vividly. a vision of clarity burst inside me A voice whispered tenderly, "Give me your life child; don't you see?" "Come in from outside child leave your decisions to me." Calmness rushed from head to toe; was this all I had needed to know? This misery, this broken soul, like a treasure hunter finding gold. Like a jealous lover, an overprotective mother I grabbed on, not wanting to let go. An aching, bleeding, wounded heart once thought doomed forevermore had discovered that ancient secret all of civilization had been searching for.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Maybe this can be a poem...

I just finished this awesome movie about the artist Artemisia Gentileschi and it was lovely. I had to go online to see her work and I couldn't believe how different the movie was to the actual true story. Regardless, it was inspiring and I decided to jot down the thoughts that were evoked: I am a woman, a delicate rose. Am I so delicate as to have no strength? Must I go mad? Women must play a dual role, must have the strenth to lift a man above her but still be soft, feminine. We must be subtle, so as not to threaten, must appear weak in order to make others feel empowered... To be overcome with emotion Passion and Grief, tears swelling and spilling over. Does that signal flaw? To be hard and unfeeling, with a lack of compassion, Is that not the cause of turmoil? My emotions are fleeting; they're adaptive and flexible they suit the occasion, humbling me Reminding me of my humanity. What, then, of the cold ones? Are they inhumane? Must we allow them to continue to conquer and subdue? Must we veil ourselves in order to restrain their desires their lack of self-control? I say we must rise, make them prove their Worth.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Anti-terrorism

So I have three jobs...this one I went to today is kind of sporadic. I do role-playing for our Anti-terrorism Assistance Program. Right now we have a class from Uzbekistan. It's always fun because you never know who you are going to meet. Most of them don't know English...maybe a word here or there...but they like to practice on you a lot. Oh and they love taking pictures with us! I thought it would be cool to be able to say some things in Russian but DAMN! It's frickin hard! I get to work with them again on Tuesday so I might practice a couple of phrases between now and then. On another topic: Mike is leaving this weekend. I have mixed emotions about it. I'm oh-so-sad because I'm so used to having him around. He's the one that I've been hanging out with for the last year and a half...and we've been growing so much closer in the past couple of weeks. He's surprised me a lot. He's been just giving me flowers for no reason...been super-sweet, cooks for me....he's even been organizing my apartment and dropping me off and picking me up from school everyday. But I have so much schoolwork and it is being pushed to the wayside and I really need to stay on top of it...so there's a bright side to him going away. Also, I have other people that I'm neglecting...I'm sorry! I'm not graduating in May now...I had to drop Spanish, now I'm taking it over the summer and I'll graduate in August, right before my 27th birthday!
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