Crossroads

I am really beginning to understand what "cold feet" is all about. We've been living together for over a year & a half & a part of one another's lives for a couple of years now, but getting married is a whole other ball game. My mind goes bananas looking for all of the possible things that can go wrong. Is he the right guy for me? Will we be happy? Will we be able to tolerate one another for ever & ever & ever & ever & ever??? I've had plenty of experience in the dating world. There are plenty of people who just don't belong together. Plenty of people I tried to force myself to stay with...but I really don't have to force anything with Mike. It all comes naturally. We have our spats. We had one yesterday. We get mad, we blow up, we hate being mad at each other & realize it's not even worth getting mad over & in an instant we are lovey-dovey again. I can't imagine my life without him. It's just a major life commitment that takes some getting used to. I feel my teenaged rebelliousness trying to come out every once in a while & I have to suppress it. I'm an adult now. Change & commitment just isn't something I've ever adapted to without qualms in the past & I guess that's not any different now in this situation. Part of me doesn't want to grow up, ever. Part of me can't grow up fast enough. Those parts are duking it out inside...the wiser will win...the adult inside of me will beat that wayward teen to a pulp!