It's a girl!

We had our ultrasound today and found out we will be having a baby girl. I am SO EXCITED! I've already started thinking of names and perusing nursery decor!

Expecting

I haven't posted in a while...we found out that we are expecting another baby! So far I've been pretty naseous, dizzy, not feeling well at all. Due date as of yet is May 18, 2010!

Love Story

Written by (one of) my father-in-law(s) for my husband's mother!

A Love Story

White Buffalo and New Kids Dream

9/15/09
Dreamt I traveled a great distance to see the New Kids on the Block. It was kind of like my Seattle vacation. Lots of people were touring and admiring the city. There were a lot of rich people there. I was in a fancy house. It was so ornate in a weird kind of way. Huge amounts of square-footage was used for elaborate displays of weird items. One being an entire white buffalo. (I have never heard of a white buffalo so I looked it up and found this about it “Albino buffalo were sacred to all Plains tribes; a white buffalo hide was a sacred talisman, a possession beyond price.” (More about the white buffalo meaning here: http://www.merceronline.com/Native/native05.htm )

I guess it was stuffed. Others were carriages and shelves. The old man of the house asked Mike and I to come talk to him. His descendants were some of my mom’s friends…Lydia, Larry, DeAnna. He said that they just wanted his money. He was doing his will. He had something he wanted to ask of me. He had an egg. He wanted to know if I would bear his child. Somehow this egg would be put inside of my womb. I was suspicious of him. Why me? I figured he wanted someone to carry on his legacy. Maybe he trusted me with this precious gift. The suspicion faded. He gathered all of us together to ask what we wanted from him. We were to make a list. He had offered me some of the elaborate items in his house, but I did not put them on my list. I wanted things for the child and enough money to support him. Mike wanted the white buffalo. I suspected his heirs were listing money…showing their greed. I came across his maid who wanted to steal my egg. I ran to get it before she could take it. Then I heard her story. She had been there all along by his side. She was sad. She simply asked to have what was hers returned to her. We went into a room and there was a neat display of the inside of one of those hippie buses and some very cool purses. She just wanted them back. I believe her wish was granted.
Later I was driving around with a group looking for the New Kids. I saw them partying it up at a club. It was loud. We were on a balcony. I kept snapping pictures of them. I was giddy with excitement. They were mingling with the crowds. I stole a kiss on the cheek from one of them. Joe, the youngest was kind of belligerent. I asked what was wrong. He said he was nobody anymore. I said “are you kidding? here you are all these years later and we are all still crazy about you. Now all of your little girl fans are grown up with our own money and coming all of this way to see you”. He seemed to cheer up a bit.

Fall 2009

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poor shiloh 006.AVI

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My little man...growing up too fast.

Isaac is 1 year 10 months and 6 days old...according to my lillypie ticker! Today he is a chatterbox. Mr. Bossy pants is his nickname. He tells me "bless you" when I sneeze. Says "u okay?" when I cough. Says "scuse you" when you are in his way. Says "stuck" when something won't budge. He likes to draw...everywhere...including his dad's big screen tv. He can draw a circle and identify it. He can draw a heart (sortof) and says "heart". He will identify a triangle and knows quite a few colors. As far as counting goes, he says "1-2-1-2". It's a start! He loves to watch PBS-Elmo, Clifford, Sid the Science Kid, Sesame Street, Dragon Tales, & Curious George. He is obsessed with Finding Nemo. He watches it everyday I mean everysingledayconstantly. I am not kidding. My husband now quotes the movie randomly. I am nemoed out. Isaac loves to go to the park. He can climb the rock-climbing wall (big boy) and loves to slide and play in the sandbox. His favorite, though, is making friends with other kids. He's in that phase right now where everything is "mine". He even argues with the kitty cats and his reflection over toys. He will say "no, mine" to invisible people. He enjoys this game. I can't wait to see how school is going to go next month with me as his teacher...Yaaay.

Following my ancestors' footprints...

Okay, I stayed up until 1 a.m. perusing Ebay. Geesh. I'd rather have a cigarette or alcohol addiction, I think. Nah. Well, maybe my husband would prefer that. I just love to look through the craft section at the materials and dream about what I could make. I found lots of neat fabric. Cool stuff. I bid and won on a few. Now my imagination will have to make a tangible item because I will have this fabric in my possession soon. I feel drawn to quilting. My mother recently gave me a quilt hand-sewn my my great-grandmother. OMG. It was supposed to be my birthday present (coming up this Thurday, blah). You have no idea what that gift meant to me. I feel that I want to carry on that tradition. To make things to pass down to future generations...to leave a piece of myself behind. I just need to learn how to sew...funny, though, because one of my neighbors makes quilts. She's retired from LSU. She offered recently to teach me to sew. Is this path laid out in black and white or what?!

Collective Unconscious

"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty...Else, to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another." --Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

Reading old comments, found one from a random stranger, she shares this quote

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson

Bloganizing.

Wow, what a feat. I am "moving". Packing up. Moving shop. "Bloganizing." My new word. I am organizing all of my randomness, thoughts, insights, rants, poetry, everything into this here blog. I realize now that I have been writing for years. Wow. It's all part of organizing my mind in order to get order bestowed outwardly in my life. This is time-consuming, but a necessary step for me. Good bye frazzled Christine, hello mrs. put-to-gether!

IF – Rudyard Kipling

Words to live your life by!


IF – Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;


If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!


Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936)

Spaceship & Malaysia Dream

Wow! Amazing dream I awoke from. I am asked to go on a mission. My professor is the organizer. I really don't understand it or why I am involved. I have to go to this convention in outer space? Weird. Why? It's me and a group of people. One of the girls with us is so obnoxious and immature. She continues to get on my nerves throughout the dream. We are simple people. Most of us undeducated. We have college degrees, but we are still uneducated. The convention is for scientists or intellectuals. I'm not sure who they are but they are SMART people. My professor tells me that I have to quickly write down some talking points and illustrate it on paper. I'm confused. He tells me what to call the project. I keep forgetting the name in my dream. It is something in french. Ma Juno. Something. I keep trying to figure out what it means and why I have to call my project that. I think it's "My June" or something. I kept trying to pronounce it with a French accent to see if that helped me understand it, but no. I was assigned a room to change in and given clothes to wear. They belonged to my professor (woman version of him). They were his handmedowns. Our group all must wear them for some reason despite them not being our correct size. I wondered why we had to do all of this, it was silly. It didn't make sense. As we walked into the spaceship, the convention participants were there socializing. An older Indian man sees me and comes my way. I am nervous. What if he asks me questions that I cannot answer? I cannot quite make out what he's saying. He asks if I'm a malskjdfoiuaeiru. Huh? I don't say it though, I pretend I know what he's talking about. I smile, laugh, say "yes" and he looks at me and says I don't look like a maldiufoaueoriuaoweur. He's onto me. As I walk away I think that I should have asked him playfully what one is supposed to look like. I go to my room and try to work on my assignment. I'm supposed to be writing, but find it difficult because I'm too rushed. The professor is anxious and is trying to get all of us out to the convention. I guess he rounded us up and hurried us here to be his entourage to show off to his collegues. It feels as if we had no choice in being here, as if we are prisoners. But why isn't he explaining to us WHY we are here? It would make everyone look a lot more competent if we were given some sort of explanation and background information. I congratulate myself on the quick getaway from the Indian man earlier, but know that I can't elude him forever. I still have to go back out there(for what I don't know) and may need to know what I'm talking about. I have no way of knowing what I need to know. Noone is telling me anything. No one knows. I use construction paper for my project. It is messy and childlike. I can't even read my cursive. It's a mess. I'm hoping this isn't anything that anyone is going to be looking at. How am I supposed to write about something that I have not studied or been taught? Am I just supposed to make it up? I see other people's projects and they see mine. Some of theirs is on poster boards with colorful graphs and neatly written explanations. I look at mine and wonder why I can't write legibly or understand the task at hand. The Indian man comes over. He starts to talk to me, but I feel that if I speak my charade will be revealed. He'll know that I don't belong here and all will be exposed. Who knows what will happen? I panic and pull him to me and kiss his mouth. YUCK! I am so disgusted. He is surprised but does not push me away. I am in his bed. I change my mind and pretend to be asleep so he will go away. The bed is in the middle of the convention. I'm telling some of my group about it, kind of bragging about how I dealt with him. Why did I do that? Gross! My group asks how in the world I ended up there. It seemed like a perfectly logical way to thwart his attention for some reason. I find out the Indian is some sort of espionage agent. He does work that is involved with putting disease into human bones. I find this very alarming. I wonder if I don't understand and he's the type of person that is experimenting for the sake of healing people. Or does he do this to harm them? Is he a terrorist? I am even more disgusted with myself because I kissed his disgusting mouth. The convention is over. Our tasks are complete. Our group leaves. The obnoxious girl is so loud that I feel she will blow our cover before we get out of the door. I notice that the convention women are gathering in a dining hall. They are dressed like politicians. They are all short with short hair wearing plain business skirt suits. I am so happy to leave this place and can't get out of there fast enough. I want to put my own clothes back on. I am FREE! I look for a bathroom. I need to go and I need a shower. I want to get out of these clothes that aren't mine and don't fit properly. I see a baby kitten. It looks like our Himalayan when she was a baby. It's scared to death and growls at me when I try to pet it. I see a little boy with another kitten and try to get the scared one over to him. A guy in my group comes out of his room angry. He said he came back from the convention and "they" had gone in his room and took his dog out, put him on a leash and locked him in the bathroom. The dog is loud and obnoxious. It sees the kittens and tries to get them, but the leash holds him back. I wonder why "they" would put his dog in there, but I really just want him to take it away. It is too loud and it wants to hurt the kittens. Now we can explore this place we are in. I contemplate how much easier it would have been had the professor explained what the convention was about, what our roles were and why he needed us there. I thought he was smarter than the situation he put us in.

So this is where last nights dream turns around. I get to start exploring this "outerspace" place. I make my way outside. I really need to go to the bathroom. There is an open toilet. It is old and had no walls, just beams. Anyone can see you. I go to use it and notice the landscape. You can see rolling green hills and all sorts of little animals. It is BEAUTIFUL. "Where am I?" I muse. I see these beautiful birds (see picture) and miniature, spotted deer looking creatures running around. It is magical. A black woman and her daughter walk by carrying a basket with a bird on hatching eggs. The eggs are kind of like the above picture (my husband and I witnessed these eggs hatching on our honeymoon in Mexico...amazing!), but the little feathers were more like peacock colors. I wonder how they are going to take this on the plane with them. There is no cage. Are you supposed to take animals out of Malaysia (apparently this is where we are)? Isn't there some sort of law prohibiting this? There is an old man sitting and working with some artificacts. I think he's an archaeologist. I stand watching him turn over an object in his hand. It looks like a piece of armour perhaps. The part that held the sword. There are train tracks behind us and a passenger train comes by. It is open on top, kind of like coal cars and the people are standing as they are being transported. They are all men. Asian looking. Dark-skinned. Except one. He's more native american looking. He has long salt and pepper hair. He's kind of edgy. He wants to know why I am judging him. I just tell him I can tell he's native american. He relaxes. A young guy takes a looooooong stick, toothpick skinny and holds it up to my chin from the train. He's bossing me. I self-assuredly tell him something, calling him out for being a bully. He jumps down and takes me out of view of the men in the train and says "listen, I like you, but I have an image I have to keep." I tell him I understand, he's new and he thinks he has to act a certain way, blah blah blah. The meeting ends good-naturedly. I go back inside and their are women at a counter. It's a gift shop. I look around to see if there is anything that I want to buy. I see some seeds on a back shelf, kind of out of the way. I say I want those. They look like pumpkin seeds. The girl at the counter says "oh, these, you can have them" they are half rotted. They become orange seeds. I love them. I picture what they can be. I know I can help them grow into a wonderful garden. I accept them and go off happily. I am now riding in the train taking a tour of this beautiful land. I notice all of the ornate architecture. It's kind of like ruins. The old and new mixed together. But there are scrolled columns and murals mixed in with the decrepid city. I am in awe. I am taking pictures with my camera but it will not capture what my eyes see. It fails to work properly anyway. I don't want to miss any part of it. The tour guide talks about how it is a mystery where this all comes from. It is unstable but has been here as long as anyone can remember. Something about the ornate artwork and scrolls being Italian comes to mind. I don't care, I just don't want to forget anything. I wake up (darn).

Public Tantrums

Okay, I need some help here. My son will NOT sit in the shopping cart when we go to the store. My husband usually goes to get groceries, etc. for us because of this. We thought we'd try it out today and it was awful. He screamed bloody murder like we were killing him. People were stopping to look at him. I ended up taking him around Wal-Mart to look at things while my husband did the shopping. I'm at my wits end. Is this going to pass or is my son a spoiled brat?!

Pieces From Me: My Home Management Binder

This lady is my hero!

Pieces From Me: My Home Management Binder

Sleep deprivation and ant bites

Okay, should an almost two-year-old be waking up 5 times in the middle of the night?! What gives? Maybe he subconsciously knows we have been talking about having another baby and wants to remind us of what he was like as a newborn...or maybe it's the ant bites on his feet, poor baby. They have taken over his playground. I keep putting cortisone cream on but, of course, it wipes off as he rolls around in bed. I am sleep deprived and a disorganized mess right now.

Scholastic Website for Teachers

I came across this site and LOVE it. We've all heard of scholastic, right? Well, if you are a teacher they offer FREE classroom home pages! It's a great way to communicate with parents and to keep them up-to-date with the daily happenings and provide resources for them outside of the classroom. I love that it is password protected so that only the parents have access to the site. No worries about posting pictures of their children or scary people getting their information! Let me know if you check it out and love it too!

My Ebay Venture

I've opened a new shop on ebay, Forget-Me-Not Eclectic Boutique, with a few changes to my format. I'll sell more smalls here, clothing and accessories. Big items and antiques can still be found at Galiano's Antiques. Be sure to stop in this weekend for the 10th anniversary sale!!!

He peepeed in the potty!!!!

I'm so proud of my little baby. He woke up with a dry diaper this morning which was a really good sign. I took it off and let him sit on his potty while I went (he usually just sits there and plays). It has a little sensor in the bottom that makes music if anything goes in. I wasn't looking but just heard the music go off. I looked up and he had stood up midstream because I think it caught him off guard and he was peeing on the floor. I told him to sit down and made a big deal out of it and he got all excited. Then I gave him some toilet paper (he ALWAYS asks for it and I tell him only when he goes in his potty can he have it). So he put the tp in then took it out (yuck) but he did sooooo good! I am so proud of him. I had told him yesterday when I was changing a poopoo diaper that he will get to wear pullups and then big boy underwear if he stops going to the bathroom in his diaper. He cried when I put his diaper on him after that as if now he understood what I meant. I told him today that we are going to go buy him some pullups!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!

Unconscious Mind from Wikipedia

The unconscious mind is a term invented by the 18th century German romantic philosopher Ser Christopher Riegel and later introduced into English by the poet and essayist Samuel Taylor Coleridge. [1] The unconscious mind might be defined as that part of the mind which gives rise to a collection of mental phenomena that manifest in a person's mind but which the person is not aware of at the time of their occurrence. These phenomena include unconscious feelings, unconscious or automatic skills, unnoticed perceptions, unconscious thoughts, unconscious habits and automatic reactions, complexes, hidden phobias and concealed desires.

The unconscious mind can be seen as the source of night dreams and automatic thoughts (those that appear without apparent cause). It can be seen as the repository of memories that have been forgotten but that may nevertheless be accessible to consciousness at some later time. It can be seen as the locus of implicit knowledge, i.e. all the things that we have learned so well that we do them without thinking. A familiar example of the operation of the unconscious is the phenomenon where one thinks about some problem, cannot find a solution but wakes up one morning with a new idea that unlocks the problem.

Observers throughout history have argued that there are influences on consciousness from other parts of the mind. These observers differ in the use of related terms, including: unconsciousness as a personal habit; being unaware and intuition. Terms related to semi-consciousness include: awakening, implicit memory, the subconscious, subliminal messages, trance, hypnagogia, and hypnosis. Although sleep, sleep walking, dreaming, delirium and coma may signal the presence of unconscious processes, these processes are not the unconscious mind. Science is in its infancy in exploring the limits of consciousness.

Reading the World as Symbol

I have begun an exciting journey into the unconscious. It is one we all take every night when we close our eyes. If everyone in the world dreams every single night, shouldn't we be paying attention? It is easy to dismiss our dreams as meaningless because we do not understand them, but we shouldn't. Our dreams give us an amazing insight into our true selves and even link us to the "collective unconscious". I will share my journey on this blog and my personal insights along the way.

If you are a beginner to understanding your dreams, the first step you can take is to start recording what you remember of your dreams in a dream journal. It is okay if it does not make any kind of sense to you. Concentrate on what you are feeling and thinking about as the dream is taking place. It will take some time before the dreams stick in your memory when you wake up. Practice makes perfect. I have been recording my dreams for over 10 years. It is amazing to look back on them and understand what they were telling me, but what I didn't get at the time. "Hindsight is 20/20". Wouldn't it be nice to understand yourself in the here and now rather than looking back and saying, "oh, NOW I get it...I wish I new THEN what I know now."? It is possible. Please take this journey within. It will change your life forever.

I've recently begun dream therapy with a professor that I happened across once again after taking his Kabbalah class almost five years ago, Rodger Kamenetz. I strongly recommend reading his book "The History of Last Night's Dream". You can view his website here .

Reading the World as Symbol

I have begun an exciting journey into the unconscious. It is one we all take every night when we close our eyes. If everyone in the world dreams every single night, shouldn't we be paying attention? It is easy to dismiss our dreams as meaningless because we do not understand them, but we shouldn't. Our dreams give us an amazing insight into our true selves and even link us to the "collective unconscious". I will share my journey on this blog and my personal insights along the way.

If you are a beginner to understanding your dreams, the first step you can take is to start recording what you remember of your dreams in a dream journal. It is okay if it does not make any kind of sense to you. Concentrate on what you are feeling and thinking about as the dream is taking place. It will take some time before the dreams stick in your memory when you wake up. Practice makes perfect. I have been recording my dreams for over 10 years. It is amazing to look back on them and understand what they were telling me, but what I didn't get at the time. "Hindsight is 20/20". Wouldn't it be nice to understand yourself in the here and now rather than looking back and saying, "oh, NOW I get it...I wish I new THEN what I know now."? It is possible. Please take this journey within. It will change your life forever.

I've recently begun dream therapy with a professor that I happened across once again after taking his Kabbalah class almost five years ago, Rodger Kamenetz. I strongly recommend reading his book "The History of Last Night's Dream". You can view his website here .

Make me a teacher

I have finally committed to becoming a teacher. My husband told me to just do what I love and not worry about the money. With that I turned in my resume' to the director of the Parent's Day Out (PDO) program that my son attends at a local church. I said that I was available if they ever needed a substitue and sure enough they did. I've been working with two-year-olds and pretty much on a regular basis. It really gives me a great glimpse into managing a classroom. I'm learning a lot of fundamental lessons that I'd have to waste a lot of time and money to get to if I decided to wait and go the traditional teacher education route. Don't get me wrong, I know I still need to obtain more education. I am just deciding which will be the best route for me. There is more than one way to skin a cat you know (who in the world came up with that anyway....ewwwwww). I met with a counselor for the College of Education at Louisiana State University (where I got my Poli Sci degree) and learned after a degree audit that it would take me approximately 3 more years of college going the traditional route. The counselor also told me I could do one of the many available alternative certification programs. These are full-time summer programs. At this time, neither of those are going to work for me. I need something in line with my life at the moment. The PDO program is a pretty sweet deal. My son goes Monday-Thursday from 9-2 with all school holidays off (including Summer) so I'm already on a regular teacher's schedule. I think I'd like to look into an online program. I just don't want to waste my time on fulfilling educational "requirements" that I do not feel are pertinent to my real-life educational needs. I need to know about learning styles, dealing with difficult children, age-appropriate activities, classroom management...that kind of thing. Not college algebra, geology or calculus. I put my time in already for those (as I feel) money-wasting collge courses

Life for now

It's been awhile since this has been updated. Isaac is growing up so fast and it's hard to keep up! He's been in his mother's day out program for a couple of months now and loves it. He goes 4 days a week. I'm now substituting there as well. I'll be full-time in the fall. He's learning so many words. He even said his first sentence a couple of weeks ago! "Where'd it go?" He asked while looking under the bed for the ball that rolled under. He LOVES books and brings them to you constantly to look through it with him. He's becoming super independent, especially since going to his "school" as I like to call it. He tells me "no no" when I try to rub his back when he's "playing" naptime. He tells the kitties "go go" when they are sitting in my lap as he's pushing them off of me. He's very jealous and possessive these days. This is one of the biggest hurdles we are dealing with right now. That and his temper tantrums. He actually injured himself the weekend before last when he through himself into the baseboard of the bed and tore the piece of skin between his top lip and gums. It was the first time I've seen so much blood from my poor little baby! Mike and I took him to the Lake After Hours and by then the bleeding had stopped and we were more shaken up than he was. We've been having all sorts of adventures. He loves to go on walks through the neighborhood and often goes over to our neighbors house and invites himself in. He loves to visit the neighborhood dogs too. He's quite the social butterfly! Oh and we got a new bird. His name is Charlie, an 8-month-old Goffin's Cockatoo. He's for our other bird, Gigi who has been screaming a lot lately. Since her roommate arrived, though, the screaming has stopped. I guess she was just lonely...especially with her "daddy" out of town all the time. Charlie is a sweetie but squawks all night because he wants to be on my shoulder. Isaac is torn between jealousy and fascination with him. He likes to let Charlie nibble his fingers but he also ripped a feather out when he was trying to shoe him off my shoulder telling him "go go". I'll have to keep them separated for a while I guess.



That's life for now.