R.I.P. Zeke 8/10/03-1/30/08

He passed away last night. We had left him with the vet to try to get
him stabilized. I feel like he died feeling abandoned. I was going to
visit him today to bring him one of his daddy's shirts and to reassure
him that he was still loved. The vet called at 8 a.m. with the terrible
news. I'm so angry at the 1st vet we went to. He gave us advice that
was detrimental to Zeke's condition. He never should have had a steroid shot or been force-fed the Nutri-Cal. He needed immediate care to treat the Diabetes and Fatty Liver Disease. I wonder if we had gone to this
new vet in the 1st place if Zeke could have actually had a chance. I haven't told Mike the news yet...he will be devastated. He adopted him from a rescue organization when he was just a baby...they adored one another. The weirdest thing happened last night. I swear on
my Grandmother' s grave that I heard Zeke's distinctive meow. It gave me chills...I just wish he was still here.

Update on Zeke

I had my second opinion on Zeke today. It was as Mike and I had originally suspected...he has Diabetes. He also has Fatty Liver Disease. I know both of these are survivable, but together and at this point the prognosis isn't so good. The former caused the latter. I don't understand how the first vet I went to could be practicing still. I told him of our suspicion of Diabetes and he automatically ruled it out without testing. He also did not test for FIP or even his liver function. He just told us he's terminal, with FIP and liver cancer, end of story...oh and "let's hope for the best". The vet today (who came highly recommended and used once before although he's in another town a 1/2 hour away) IMMEDIATELY whisked him off to put a warm IV in him and to test his liver function as well as everything else. They are keeping him until he is stabilized. He WAS given an FIP vaccination on 2/10/07...the vet AUTOMATICALLY gives it with all of the annual shots...this vaccine is DANGEROUS and UNNECESSARY. It could actually make your kitty more susceptible to catching the coronavirus which causes FIP. When I took him last year for his shots, he had severe diarrhea...the vet didn't test him for anything except Fvrp/luk & Feluk/fiv & said the diarrhea was just probably from something he ate. He was 19lbs at the time and couldn't even clean his bottom, we had to take him to a professional groomer to be cleaned and have his bottom shaved. I wonder if they should have tested for Diabetes back then. I had complained of how much he would throw up all of the time. We joked that he must be Bulimic, but no red flags were brought to my attention by the vet...she just said we should not let him eat so much. That's kind of a problem, though, because 2 of our indoor kitties will only eat when they can "graze. I wish I had seen the red flags, especially his sudden loss of weight. I thought it was a good thing that he was losing weight because he was so fat before. I hate that he had to go from Monday to today without being properly treated. It could cost him his life. I hate that you put your trust in a medical expert and you get such poor service...especially when the life of your pet is at stake. I wish I had paid closer attention...my pets have not had my complete attention for months due to our new baby and I feel horrible. One other thing I wonder about is if the onset of the Diabetes could have been triggered by a change in his food. The place we shop at was out of the Purina Cat Chow completely, but we HAD to have food. We bought, I think, Meow Mix until the store could get more in. I believe this was 2-3 weeks ago. I wonder if this could be related? I am crossing my fingers that Zeke will make it through. The vet says it doesn't seem very promising...less than a 10% chance of surviving, but knowing what the problem is makes me hopeful still. I feel like there is a weight off of my shoulders right now. Thanks so much for all of your concern.

My kitty is dying

I am devastated. Our fat cat, Zeke is lifeless. I took him to the vet today and his kidneys are failing. He's up-to-date on his vaccines, but the vet feels that he has FIP...something he received a vaccine for 2/07. I can't even describe how much I love this kitty. He was almost 20 lbs and now he's not even 12. He's only 4 1/2 years old...too young to die. The vet said that he was terminal...all we can do is try to make him comfortable. He has masses that the vet believes are tumors...I just don't understand how this happened. He had been losing weight over the past couple of weeks, but I had thought that was a good thing since he's overweight. I wish I had paid more attention to him. I wish there was more I could do. I'm thinking of taking him to another vet tomorrow...just in case. I want to feel like I've done everything within my control.

staying home, career

After a grueling 8 years and zillion jobs later, I graduated LSU with a degree in Political Science. Now I have a career as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I never, ever thought this is where I `d want to be. I saw myself as a career woman. I wanted to BE somebody. I wanted to do important things. I saw myself as a Feminist. After being out there for a while in the land of the 9-5 (where I longed to be for so long), I realized I HATED it. I yearned for something more. I wanted to be a mommy! I wanted to take care of my house & my husband. It `s so ironic now to hear myself saying these things. I used to think women who wanted things like that were uneducated simpletons. Now that I `m wearing their shoes, I rather like them. I used to wonder why someone would `throw away ` their college education to be a housewife. I couldn `t, for the life of me, figure out what was wrong with them. At the same time, I constantly pondered how I could make my mark on the world. What could I do to better the lives of people around me? What was I meant to do? There are so many things wrong with the world and families. I know because I grew up in a very broken family...if you could even call it a family. I became constantly overwhelmed. I volunteered to help the abused children, the abused animals, to clean up the environment, to help the best candidate win. I worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time while attending school full-time. I went out as often as I could. I tried to save my friends and family whose lives were always falling apart...in the meantime I could barely keep my own life together. I bounced from relationship to relationship searching for something permanent. I rarely slept more than 5 hours a night when I wasn `t pulling all-nighters (be it studying or partying). When college was over...all of that chaos came to a screeching HALT!My life is solid now. It is so much calmer and more meaningful. My education comes very much in handy these days. It taught me so many things. My work experience has also prepared me for this new role. I can run a household and a family now. I `m not perfect at it and I know I have a LONG way to go. I am learning to organize and to cook. I am appreciating the unconditional love from my baby and Mike. I am so grateful to have a husband who values my new role. He doesn `t mind supporting his family and I don `t mind supporting him. Wouldn `t society be so much better off if we didn `t have to feel ashamed of putting our families first? I want my son to have the best care and education a child can have. I know he will because I will be the one providing it! I don `t want to worry about him being neglected in a daycare or feeling like his parents don `t have time for him. Believe it or not I am still studying like crazy. I am taking my education so much more seriously than I ever did in college. I am learning the most valueable lessons and skills of my life right now. I read constantly on how to care for my baby and home. I know this kind of life is not for everyone, but it `s working for me and my family right now! There are some sacrifices we have to make...I don `t drive a brand new car or wear the latest fashions. I can `t get my hair highlighted every 6-8 weeks or my nails done. We may not have the best of everything, and may be cutting coupons & living on a budget, but it `s WORTH it to me. I know that we will own our own home soon. We `ll still travel and have adventures. We will have a boat and probably even a vacation home someday. I WILL write a book. I still have career aspirations, but at this point in time I `m right where I need to be. I stopped and listened to myself to find out what I really wanted out of life and not what society told me I should aspire to be. I `m glad I `m finally listening to myself.



Isaac turned 6 weeks old yesterday. I measured him and he's around 24 inches & weighed in today at 13 lbs! He's getting so big so fast. He's even holding his head up for long periods of time. I'm so proud of him. I dreamt last night that he was starting to crawl already! On a sad note, my favorite kitty in the world went missing. We can't find her anywhere. I'm posting flyers & doing everything I can. I think someone kidnapped her. She goes up to complete strangers & hugs them. She'll even jump into anyone's car!

Coincidence?

My mother is a HUGE fan of Edgar Cayce. From time to time she sends me quotes from him...today's:

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Think on This ...
. . the church is within yourself and not in any pope nor preacher, nor in any building but in self! For thy body is indeed the temple of the living God, and the Christ becomes a personal companion in mind and in body; dependent upon the personality and individuality of the entity as it makes practical application of the tenets and truths that are expressed.

Edgar Cayce Reading 5125-1

Become part of the legacy.

This email was automatically generated by the Association for Research and Enlightenment.

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She has been talking about him for years, but it usually goes in one ear and out the other. I took a walk with Isaac today & contemplated why I'm so resentful & depressed about my past. I came home & found the above in my inbox. After reading it, something told me I need to just turn off the television. I decided to make it my New Year's Resolution. I went through the house turning off all of the tvs (we leave them on in each room for our animals...I know, kind of silly). Anyway, I decided to go and see what the skeptics say about this guy. What I found were the rigid Christian sect trying to debunk him. What I learned about him has actually fascinated me. His teachings are things I've thought all along. I read what Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Cayce) had to say & learned of the strangest thing; he talks about Atlantis & a rare blue stone, "In this regard Cayce also predicted the coming of a certain 'blue stone' of Atlantean origin, that was to be found on "an island in the Caribbean" and was to have the power to heal. In 1974 a Volcanic blue pectolite now known as the Larimar was found in the Dominican Republic. In occult circles this colored gemstone is said to have healing powers..."

The significance? Mike bought me that very stone for Christmas. Call it a coincidence, but it sure gave me goose pimples!!!!!!!!!!

Getting out and about

The weekend was great. Got to get out & have dinner with Sharon & Steph, which was nice. We also went to Mike's niece, Caroline's, horse show. I actually got a sunburn on my face despite a hat with a brim & chilly temps. I love getting out & doing things with Isaac even if he doesn't like it so much. He'll just have to get used to it I guess. I don't want to be a homebody. Oh & someone please take that freaking cat...the longer it stays, the more Mike gets attached to it...and it is NOT staying!

Dreaming about dreaming

The oddest thing...the last couple of nights I have been telling people about the dream I had while I'm still dreaming! I don't think it's the same thing as lucid dreaming, is it? The dream was me trying to climb down a house built on a cliff while a white dog foaming at the mouth was lunging at me. Then I'm at a store shopping & the clothes I want that are on sale are too high to reach. There are some other women there too trying to get to the too-high racks so I go get one of those long metal reacher things to help us all out. When I come back, every one of the pieces of clothing are gone & a saleslady points to the dressing room. I see that the women I was trying to help managed to get them on their own & took them all. I sling the reacher thing across the store and storm out! Whew...temper temper Christine! (I really have done the storming out thing a time or two).

A Good Way to STart the New Year

CLEANING HOUSE


Last Week I threw out Worrying, it was getting old and
in the way. It kept me from being me; I couldn't do
things God's way.

I threw out a book on MY PAST (didn't have time to
read it anyway). Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started
reading it today.

I threw out hate and bad memories, (remember how I
treasured them so)? Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too, threw
out the one from long ago.

Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL,
AND I MUST. Threw out I might, I think and I ought.
WOW, you should've seen the dust.

I ran across an OLD FRIEND, haven't seen him in a
while. I believe his name is GOD, Yes I really like
His style.

He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things
Himself. Like PRAYER, HOPE AND FAITH, Yes I placed
them right on the shelf.

I picked up this special thing and placed it at the
front door. I FOUND IT- its called PEACE. Nothing
gets me down anymore.

Yes, I've got my house looking nice. Looks good around
the place. For things like Worry and Trouble there
just isn't any space.

Its good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of
the things that don't belong on the shelf. It sure
makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT
YOURSELF.

BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

(Because you are a blessing to me)

May the Lord open the windows of heaven and pour you
out a blessing that you will not have room enough to
receive it all.

Malachi 3:10.

Take 60 seconds & Bless some one!