Pregnancy pain and old injury

I am really having problems with Sciatica pain right now. I originally was injured in 2003 while training for the Marine Corps at Officer Candidate's School. I had fallen off of the obstacle course & landed on my butt. Two days later I could barely run...it was horrible. I was discharged & sent home & given disability and received 6 months of Physical Therapy. I had a lot of problems, though, with the military & getting the doctor's bills paid. I eventually ended up paying for a few things myself & not renewing my benefits because I was just too fed up. Unfortunately, the pain never truly went away. I felt it while trekking across campus, when I tried to go out dancing or any other physical activity I participated in. I eventually just started doing less and less physical activity with the result of gaining about 30lbs. Now, though, being pregnant, I only need to walk or even just sit & the pain cuts like a knife! A nice slow song came on the radio the other day & Mike & I spontaneously started dancing to it, but I had to stop because it hurt so bad. How am I supposed to get through our wedding and honeymoon with it like this? I had asked my Dr. if there was some kind of anti-inflammatory or something that I could take since that's what I had been given before, but she just said "No, just Tylenol". It just sucks!

To be or not to be?

It's so exciting...little Isaac moves all of the time...Mike can even feel him every once in a while! It's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that there is a baby in there. We haven't even started getting baby stuff yet. It's like one part of my mind knows & the other part is too scared to get my hopes up...does this make sense to anyone? I think I've become a pessimist over the years...quite the opposite from the extreme optimism I used to have. I guess that, in my mind, if something can go wrong, it will. I'm just afraid of disappointment. I can't fully appreciate & look forward to this little miracle until he's in my arms. Nevertheless...I'm still preparing myself. I'm reading about him everyday, trying to soak up as much information as I can to prepare myself for motherhood.

i-am-pregnant.com

I signed up for this awesome site today & love it already! I am currently 21 weeks & 4 days pregnant with my little boy. I think my metabolism is out of control because no matter how much I eat I am still hungry! I quit a job I had just started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I didn't realize what I had got myself into & absolutely detested the place (The Princeton Review). I've been unemployed since. I've applied to a few jobs, nothing exciting & interviewed for a temporary job. I have my B.A. in Political Science, but after working for a law firm for a year after graduation decided law wasn't for me (I had intended to go to law school). Now with all of this time on my hands I'm figuring out what I really want to do. I thought perhaps I'd be a stay at home mom. My sweetheart supports my decision either way. I've decided, though, to return to school. I'm going to pursue my PhD in Psychology (one of my many former majors). I've signed up for an online course to brush up on the Introductory Psychology course (which I took about 10 years ago) & will take one class in the Spring & one in the Fall then will apply to grad school for the following Fall. This is the plan now, I'm sure life will change dramatically when little Isaac is born. He will be my first and foremost priority of course. I'm just thinking about the future. I'm a career woman at heart & am going nuts being at home!!!

Back to school

I'm seriously considering going back. Mike is behind me 100%. I applied for Re-entry to LSU today. I have a few Undergraduate courses to wrap up & I can have my degree in Psychology. Then I'll need GRE prep...then applying to Grad. school!!! I'm really gonna pursue my PhD!!! My dream!

New babies woke me up!

Usually after Mike leaves for work in the wee hours of the morning, I fall back asleep. This morning I couldn't. I kept hearing this squeaky squeely kind of sound. Then it sounded like more than one animal making the sound. I've heard it before, but louder & deeper, followed by growling. I looked out of my bedroom window...but it was covered in condensation. I decided to take a peak out of the living room window at the stairs where Mike puts food out for India & Smokey (a ferral cat that's adopted us over the last 2 years) & sure enough, I see new little baby raccoons! There was the mom, which I'm sure was one of last year's six babies that we fed, and there were two CHUBBY little ones. They were just too precious! They both kept sitting inside the water bowl with their little faces stuck in the water, then they'd go grab some dry cat food & eat while the mom took her dry food and held it in the water to soften it up before she ate. Then one of them jumped onto a little plant that sits on the stairs & tumbled to the ground, plant & all. They are so fascinating to watch. Usually I can sit outside on the steps next to the raccoons while they eat. They trust me. Now, though, I'm sure they'd all run & hide. Mom's are super-protective like that. I worry about what will happen to them when we move. What if someone who doesn't love animals like Mike & I do move in. What if they are cruel to them? They probably won't feed them. We have an animal trap & I had thought about taking them with us when we go, but that's probably a bad idea. I think they actually live in the woods & just visit us via the large water drains in our yard. I'll miss them though.

Noone to marry

The wedding is getting so close & I still haven't found anyone to marry us!!! Everything else is pretty much in place. We were having a friend of Mike's parent's do it. They own a bed & breakfast near where we are getting married & also do weddings. As it turns out they are selling their business & moving to TN. I don't want some stuffy old person to do it either. I definitely don't want some religious zealot who will look down their nose at my pregnant belly. How in the hell can I find someone in another state??? This is really really bugging me now.

The Fat Cat

In our house, we have 4 cats & 3 birds. One of these cats, Zeke, weighs 19 lbs. Lately he has not been cleaning his backside. It's pretty disgusting. We took him to the vet for shots & a checkup. The vet said he's just too fat to reach. I also think he's bulimic (that looks wrong). He will eat and eat and eat and eat then puke then eat then puke then eat some more. Now he's getting worse as far as the noncleaning of the backside. He smells bad. He is impossible to give a bath to...even with two of us...unless you want to end up bloody and soaked. I'm taking him to PetSmart to be groomed today. They can end up bloody & wet. That's what they get paid for.

Pregnancy Dreaming (an old flame)

I dreamt last night that Mike & I were at a grocery store. I was looking down & ran into someone. When I looked up I realised we must be in Ohio because it was my ex-fiance', Scott, and his mother that I bumped into.

I've read that it is very common to dream about an ex while pregnant.

I started off ignoring them (there was some hostility after the 3 1/2 year relationship ended), but somehow I ended up back at his parents house with him & Mike somewhere in tow. I was getting a glimpse at his life & where he was now & seeing how everything he did was a substandard version of Mike. For some reason we hugged & kissed a lot, though. I slept in a bed with him & Mike slept in the same room, but somewhere else. For some reason he didn't question any of this. The next morning, we went downstairs & I saw his new girlfriend (in reality he started dating her the instant we broke up & they had a child together). Her face looked really chubby, almost swollen & distorted compared to the rest of her. She was yelling & being really mean to me (she really did do this a day or two after my boyfriend died saying she was glad he was dead & wished I was too). I just smiled at her & said I didn't know what she was talking about. I was then watching Scott check his e-mail & saw he had a lot of spam, but was deleting it very slowly & one by one. I tried to tell him how to do it quicker, but he wanted me to show him how (he was pretty helpless in the relationship & depended on me way to much). I told him to do it himself. Then I remembered that I had heard he had a baby & asked to see it. His girlfriend took me to a nursery & showed me a little boy with a giant head with HUGE blue eyes that matched his dads. I picked him up & carried him around showing him to Mike & a lot of other people that randomly started popping up in the dream. Then the girlfriend & I started being nice to one another & the ill will dissipated. I told Scott, his girlfriend & his parents that Mike & I were having a child. His mom asked if I had forgot to take my birth control. I said "no, I'm 28 & it's time I had a child". They congratulated us. Then I saw a woman outside with a bulldozer on the hill above the house (their house is really built into the side of a hill). I realized that the street was covered with moving hillside. Everyone looked at one another & we realized that the entire hill was starting to slide. I knew the house was about to go at the instant we all started running. I started looking everywhere for people to grab. I got out of the house & realised my brother & sister were inside. I saw them in an upstairs window, then my sister came running out of the door. Scott came & asked me if we could be alone again. He wanted me to take a walk with him & he wanted to cuddle & kiss some more. I told him no. Then I woke up.

baby Shower

Wow, when you're pregnant...you have some pretty wild dreams. I dreamed last night that I was sleeping in my bed & woke up with my baby laying on my stomach, still attached with the umbilical chord...everything was the same except now the baby was growing on the outside & not the inside. Later on, I'm going about my business & forgot all about having a baby when I suddenly remember about it. I run to the bedroom & pull back the blanket & there it is, tiny & sleeping. I feel it's diaper & it needs to be changed. I rummage through a laundry basket for a diaper & bottle. Then the baby pops up out of the bed very alert...it's a little older now. I put it in one of those walkie things and it starts charging around the house.

We go to the doctor today & get to do the ultrasound & get to find out if it's a boy or a girl! I can't wait!

Interpretation from http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/D/Dreams/ :

"Many pregnant women dream about losing things or forgetting important things. You might dream about forgetting to feed your baby or leaving him in a store. Some pregnant mothers have dreams that they will not have everything they need when the baby is born. If you have dreams about losing things or forgetting appointments, items or other things, perhaps you feel that you may not be fully prepared to take on the task of motherhood."

It's a boy

new toy

Mike & I were sitting on the swing Sunday morning figuring out how to spend our day. I was wishing we could be on the beach somewhere sipping a fruity drink. He said, "why don't we go get a pool". We were at Academy Sports before the doors even opened. We got one of those 15' ones that don't have a frame. We spend the entire morning filling it with air and water. In retrospect, I reccommend anyone buying a pool to spend the extra money for the one with a metal frame! The sides of ours started collapsing...it was both extremely annoying and funny at the same time. In the end we had an awesome pool to enjoy the rest of the day with! We reverted back to children as we played in the water the entire rest of the day. We're definitely waterbabies at heart! I wish we would have thought of it when we moved here 2 years ago! The subtropical Louisiana heat is brutal...a swimming pool is an absolute MUST!