Maybe this can be a poem...

I just finished this awesome movie about the artist Artemisia Gentileschi and it was lovely. I had to go online to see her work and I couldn't believe how different the movie was to the actual true story. Regardless, it was inspiring and I decided to jot down the thoughts that were evoked: I am a woman, a delicate rose. Am I so delicate as to have no strength? Must I go mad? Women must play a dual role, must have the strenth to lift a man above her but still be soft, feminine. We must be subtle, so as not to threaten, must appear weak in order to make others feel empowered... To be overcome with emotion Passion and Grief, tears swelling and spilling over. Does that signal flaw? To be hard and unfeeling, with a lack of compassion, Is that not the cause of turmoil? My emotions are fleeting; they're adaptive and flexible they suit the occasion, humbling me Reminding me of my humanity. What, then, of the cold ones? Are they inhumane? Must we allow them to continue to conquer and subdue? Must we veil ourselves in order to restrain their desires their lack of self-control? I say we must rise, make them prove their Worth.

Anti-terrorism

So I have three jobs...this one I went to today is kind of sporadic. I do role-playing for our Anti-terrorism Assistance Program. Right now we have a class from Uzbekistan. It's always fun because you never know who you are going to meet. Most of them don't know English...maybe a word here or there...but they like to practice on you a lot. Oh and they love taking pictures with us! I thought it would be cool to be able to say some things in Russian but DAMN! It's frickin hard! I get to work with them again on Tuesday so I might practice a couple of phrases between now and then. On another topic: Mike is leaving this weekend. I have mixed emotions about it. I'm oh-so-sad because I'm so used to having him around. He's the one that I've been hanging out with for the last year and a half...and we've been growing so much closer in the past couple of weeks. He's surprised me a lot. He's been just giving me flowers for no reason...been super-sweet, cooks for me....he's even been organizing my apartment and dropping me off and picking me up from school everyday. But I have so much schoolwork and it is being pushed to the wayside and I really need to stay on top of it...so there's a bright side to him going away. Also, I have other people that I'm neglecting...I'm sorry! I'm not graduating in May now...I had to drop Spanish, now I'm taking it over the summer and I'll graduate in August, right before my 27th birthday!

Resilience"

disconnected from the world confused, lonely analyzing girl family ties never tied deficient communication vile situation outside looking in isolated soul desperately searching to KNOW misunderstood forsaken thrown away mistaken no sense of normalcy no lessons on morality castaway without guidance gap to sanity widens to lead to follow to fill what's hollow ice ages of experience contemplative rage violent; mysterious disillusioned lack of belief trust in God RELIEF open mind Repentence understanding Forgiveness forward movement cautious procession ears closed to objection destination set end in view journey begins life anew