Jury duty, websites and a STALKER...DOODODODODO

Well, they say that the 3rd time is a charm, so we'll see if I ACTUALLY serve jury duty tomorrow. I went last Monday, was 5 mins. late and they turned me and everyone else around and said we had to come back next week. It was a fluke that I had a babysitter. Mike's mom stayed in town following Isaac's birthday party to do some stuff in our shop and agreed to watch him. THEN, I go back this Monday, Isaac in tow (due to the lack of a babysitter) & we are there from 9 a.m.-2:30 p.m. They told me having a child was no excuse for getting out of jury duty and even gave Isaac a juror sticker! So I was on panel one and we got called to go to court, EXCEPT the ones who's names weren't called (MINE included) and were told to come back Wednesday at 10:00 and we'd be panel number five. Now I have no idea what the hell kind of case I'm going to get and how long it's going to last. My poor sister has agreed to watch Isaac despite Just having a NEWBORN baby!!! I just hate asking her, but she's the most willing and reliable member of my family with the closest proximity. Once this jury duty bologna is overwith I have an INTERVIEW. Yes, I will be going back to work to make some moolah to fund my entreprenearial bug. I'm working on building my website, but it's a work in progress. In the meantime I have to rely on my blog as kind of a "placeholder". The site will be awesome when I'm done with it and hopefully will generate some money and become a destination for like-minded people interested in genealogy (especially), collecting/antiquing & living green among other things. I've purchased a domain, cancelled it, signed up for another one now I'm considering canceling it...I need something that's quality, but I'm a micromanager and want to do it all myself. PLUS I keep getting sucked into this ancestry fanaticism that has taken over my brain (I even have a stalker...she calls a few times a day every single day "Christine, this is cuzin Julie from WestMoneroLousiana calling aboub blahblahblah...it's so annoying). I hate when someone calls me over and over and over and over again and never state the reason they are calling or, even worse, are just calling so they can tell me their life story and, I don't know, maybe want me to write a book on it or something.....AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh! I shouldn't be so mean, but damn.

post-partum depression, for real?

People keep asking me what I'm depressed about. It's not ABOUT anything...it just IS. I don't know how else to explain it. It's a feeling of despair that just won't go away. I've been told by two different Psychiatrists that it's "post-partum depression". I don't know. I wish I could rewire my brain for happiness. I can be just fine one minute and the next the world overwhelms me and I just want to curl up in my bed and go to sleep. I have a very hard time sleeping at night...I know it will just lead to waking up and dealing with another day. Then when it comes time to wake up I have a very hard time dragging myself out of bed. I've been told that I do not have a "normal" threshold for stress. The littlest thing sends me into a panic attack. I don't know if it's more neurological or psychological, but I wish it would just go away so I could appreciate each new day that God gives me.

First Birthday

Isaac turned 1 today. The year has been one of the shortest of my life. I guess I never realized how fast life passes us by until I started measuring mine by my child's developmental milestones. He got PLENTY of gifts and had fun making a huge mess of his cake. Our house is still "under construction" (we are remodeling here and there), but everyone still managed to have fun and I'm still sane after hosting my first party as a mommy!