"Fallen Woman, Get Up"

Loathing, hating.
Complexly inferior...degraded.
Mazes, manic...making havoc.
Lying on our mats
balance...strength...PEACE
Clear your mind...not thinking
exhale as long as inhaling...breathing
counting...1...2...3...4
WAVES OF LIGHT
1...2...3...4
Darkness deepens...
Control freak...ignoranct bull.
A tower of waste.
Domineering...stupid wrath.
Karma-depleting vengeance.
Self-hatred projection...perhaps.
The pleading woman, shrinking.
I am back at 9 staring down
at the replacement mother.
A Native American from California.
She's begging and crying
for him to stop hitting.
WEAKLING...DISGRACE OF WOMAN, I want to kick her
the one crying submissive tears
holding onto invisible bars, so real to her.
I hug her in pity.

When it rains...it pours

I dreamed I drove off of a cliff last night. I was driving a dog to the top of a cliff, but realized it would get lost if I didn't walk it to where it needed to go, so I went to make a sudden stop in a parking spot at the edge of the cliff, but my tires caught gravel and I slid over the edge...over the trees. As I was falling, it was so realistic, was completely aware that this was it. I was going to die. I was frozen with fear, but strangely calm, knowing that I was completely helpless.

It seems symbolic now. People's lives that I care about are falling apart. I'm stuck in the middle, but helpless. Today has turned into a horrible day.

Fallen Woman, Get Up" another rambling I call poetry

Loathing, hating.
Complexly inferior...degraded.
Mazes, manic...making havoc.
Lying on our mats
balance...strength...PEACE
Clear your mind...not thinking
exhale as long as inhaling...breathing
counting...1...2...3...4
WAVES OF LIGHT
1...2...3...4
Darkness deepens...
Control freak...ignoranct bull.
A tower of waste.
Domineering...stupid wrath.
Karma-depleting vengeance.
Self-hatred projection...perhaps.
The pleading woman, shrinking.
I am back at 9 staring down
at the replacement mother.
A Native American from California.
She's begging and crying
for him to stop hitting.
WEAKLING...DISGRACE OF WOMAN, I want to kick her
the one crying submissive tears
holding onto invisible bars, so real to her.
I hug her in pity.