Coronavirus in California

 Whew what a few years it's been since I've written here. We moved from Louisiana to California in August 2018 just in time for Mike to start his first day at his new job and the kids to start school. We love getting outside here. We can drive less than an hour to the nearest beach or mountains. We love hiking and exploring new areas. We've made lots of new friends and four out of five of us has been to the emergency room at least once. This was all pre-pandemic too. We have all been vaccinated except for the youngest two kiddos. I may start writing more. We shall see. 

Snake and Taho Dream, Journeying and Associations

Edit to update that I was mailed my dad's autopsy report and he died by a self-inflicted gunshot wound. 

Last night's dream. I'm working at a church. There are many familiar details around it, some of which I have dreamt before, such as the downstairs being kind of like a clothing closet/food pantry for the needy. I think I remember seeing some of my long-estranged ex-relatives here. Upstairs is the nursery area where kids go for Sunday school. The lights are on at some point and off at some point. It seems there is a kitchen up there too. I am marking 'x's' next to these circles on a chart for the ones that represent things I will like to teach the kids. Someone reminds me I'm no longer teaching here I'm confused for a minute, then look around and think "who's going to teach them?" and notice that there really are not that many people there and wonder what happened to them. I start thinking of ways to get more people there like church buses, etc and visualize the room filling with people (a vision within the dream). I go downstairs and I'm at a house that seems to belong to my husband and I. We are outside. My husband is walking around looking for a leaking water pipe or something. He has a man with him from a company that he's called out. I see what is going on. The man is looking for his company's logo, which is Home Depot. I see through his eyes. If he sees his logo painted on where the problem is at then he can leave without doing any work because they've already been out to assess and it's no longer his problem (which sort of reminds me of my doctor and my cardiologist who have given me a diagnosis of "costochondritis" for my chest pains with no real reason of why I'm having them and say the chest pains have nothing to do with a leaking heart valve which really makes no sense to me). So the man imagines that he's seen his Home Depot logo and leaves and another crew comes out. The first man was white with brown hair, the next crew are two black men. They follow my husband around helping him look for the problem. I'm still confused what the problem actually is that he is looking for because I see no evidence of a leak anywhere, just rows and rows of rusty pipes side by side (similar to the pipes on a pipe organ) going up the side of the house. I leave them to their search and walk down the sidewalk that is parallel to the road towards a creek that runs under the road. As I approach the area next to the bridge I notice a HUGE black and whitish snake swimming in the water. I feel fear, but continue walking, because it's still in the water, but then an even LARGER red and whitish snake comes speeding through the water, past the black snake. It is going so fast that it just slides onto the shore (kind of like a canoe would if you did not stop rowing as you approach the shore). It was pointed straight towards me and I turn around and sprint away. At the same time I turn to run, I look to the side of the sidewalk and notice the same type of snake is there, dead. It has been flattened and is even severed at one part at a sharp 45 degree angle. As I'm leaving I see vehicles speeding down the road and a group of people going down the sidewalk towards the snake that had came out of the water. I warn them about the large snakes and they tell me about the "wreck in the Tahoe". I'm not sure what they are talking about, but they speak as if it is a news story everyone has been following. They tell me that the people in the Tahoe had died. I go into a vision within the vision which is sort of like me googling the accident in the dream and see that it is a young couple. The guy has brown curly hair. He's new on the music scene, but is connected with some other well-known musicians and had just released either his first hit single or his first album. This takes me back to the upstairs of the church which is the vision of the fuller church, this time with more black people in it, and they tell me about the same thing, the "people in the Tahoe died". 

The snakes are a reoccurring dream visitor and I've researched it a lot, but every time I have one of these dreams and share it I'm hoping someone is going to resonate with it and say something profound that I haven't understood just yet. I am currently reading "Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation" and had journeyed with a drum last night. I was able to get a visual in the journeying! It was me, but I was a Bald Eagle flying over a beautiful body of water next to land. I was so flustered that I snapped out of it and came back to my body very quickly, but went back to drumming. I was asking for help in understanding my chest pains. My birth dad passed in 2011 so I asked to connect with him if he was available, but then I heard what sounded like a loud gunshot that snapped me back to again. I ran outside to see if anything looked out of place, but no. I looked at my watch and it said 10:01 pm. My birth father took his own life. I do not know what method he used as I'd never been able to find him until I found his obituary a year and a half later. I see I'm writing a book here. The last part is sort of significant because I wonder what time he took his life (I might try to find out if there was an autopsy) and wonder if the gun shot was real or from the journey. And then this dream happened. A prior dream with snakes had my birth dad dead on an altar, so I feel somehow it could be related to him. After finding his family on Facebook through his obituary, I learned that his dad, a journalist and former professor at the college that I graduated from, had died two years after I was born in a car accident. Other relatives from that family live in Lake Tahoe. Those are just some associations that could or could not be related to the dream.

Quite the Grip Dream

Dream: I'm at a gathering...we are outside at someone's house. It's a BBQ, maybe? There is a bonfire and people are hanging out and socializing. Seems I've visited this place before in another dream. I'm holding a glass (it looks like the glass that I use in my bathroom to hold my cotton balls and q-tips) and either I break it or it just breaks in my hand. Then I'm inside the kitchen of this house...I've broken another glass, this time it's the one I'm drinking from. A very well-dressed, distinguished-looking gentleman comes in. He's wearing something like a black suit, maybe with a red vest or tie...white or gray hair, and has a thin face with age lines. He could be a scholar or maybe a business man. I know he's very wise. I'm talking to him, apologizing and surprised by my clumsiness. I'm feeling foolish, embarrassed. I wonder (maybe out loud, maybe silently, but he hears me) why I keep doing this. In waking life,  years ago when I was just at drinking age in Ohio, if I was drinking alcohol from a glass, I often would drop it as my body and hands became very relaxed and it would break. I remember this similar feeling of being embarrassed at the same time of not caring too much because...whatever, I felt great! In the dream, the man assures me that it's okay and tells me that I have "quite the grip". I think the difference in the dream and the memory from waking life is that when I was younger, I was much more carefree and ignorant. Now I'm very cautious and have learned so much...I've got a much better grip on life than I did back then.

In the dream, I start pondering the dream's meaning. I'm wondering if he's saying that I have a strong grasp of things or if I'm gripping on to something too tightly that I'm breaking it. The man tells me that his grandfather used to tell him something. I try to remember what it was, but I can't. He showed me a lyrical poem on paper. The verse is in italics and the rest of the words above and below the verse is blurred out. I remember that it was an extremely significant and profound insight...both beautiful and enlightening. I remember that it was about life and learning. The word he used to describe the type of learning resonated so strongly with me that I wanted to wake myself up to write it down so that I could study it. I tell myself over and over again, "wake up, write it down, wake up, write it down." As I'm coming too, the words "Betty Crocker" "Betty Cook" keep repeating over and over and over and over again until I'm awake. I wake up, groggy, remembering the line I need to write down, but I can't bring myself to get up and write it down and fall back into dreaming. I convinced myself that I will remember everything in the morning and can write it down and investigate it further then. When I woke up, my mind blocked the profound word that described the type of learning the man told me about. The closest thing I could come up with was "metaphysical" learning or "esoteric" learning, but neither of those words are correct. The word was shorter and one that I don't remember reading about before.

Since I remembered the Betty Crocker Betty Cook line, I decided to look up "Betty Cook" since I don't remember ever hearing of her before. She was a world champion power boat racer who graduated from MIT. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betty_Cook

Betty Crocker, to me, is about being a homemaker.

These two women sort of symbolize my life dilemma...being a wonderful wife & mother, but also trying to accomplish my dreams and become successful as an entrepreneur. One, a risk-taker, one a stable, reliable domesticated woman.

Another dilemma I face is not being able to let go for fear of losing control over myself and my life. I am immensely interested in studying the metaphysical and what happens to us when we die. Everything in this study requires you to let go of your beliefs in order to open yourself up to knowing beyond this world. It terrifies me. I have a fear of opening my mind too much and not being able to come back to my everyday life. I'm afraid of losing my mind and going insane, so I tiptoe around the edge of this realm, watching and studying from afar.

Big Dream Last Night-Chinese, Octopus, Sharks, Casino

Edit to update 7/9/2021 after coming back and reading this while going through a worldwide devastating pandemic, I'm going to say this one was a warning of what was coming. 

The dream:

I am standing on the levy/bank of the water. It's night. I see a commotion in the water. I see that there are sharks all swarming an area. Kind of in a frenzy, on the other side of the bank. There is a guy with our group, he's Chinese. He slides down to the ground right next to the river to do a pose. I want to tell him to stop, that he could fall in. He's doing a pose and I realize that people do these poses all over the place. Like planking...people doing these things for one another, maybe to show off? I look up at the sky and I see golden color formations. I look around and wonder if anyone else sees these. The are beautiful. One begins taking shape, it's an Octopus. I wake up for a minute and call it a Squid in my head, but asleep again, I see all of its flowing arms. I look back in the water and see the sharks which cause me alarm, but look up at the Octopus and feel tranquility. I am saying goodbye to my group. My college friend is there. We work on two different boats down the river. She's far away from me. I give the Chinese guys kisses goodbye on their lips. 

I'm walking through a giant big box store, looks like the workers are moving things around. I see all of their displays and store fixtures. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some info from the dream symbols:

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread606760/pg1


http://finias.com/terrace/dreams/dream_dictionary.htm

Octopus - Octopus is a way-shower through the shadow.   I have very little water in my nature and octopus has come to me as a guide to help mediate that which is by nature my shadow.

The octopus has a built in defense system to guard against negative attack. She teaches us to guard against those negative persons and situations that might otherwise harm us. Octopus People often experience very emotional dreams as well as a lot of emotional healing through the Dream State. Finally octopus teaches us to approach all things not with the intent to destroy, but with universal love, strength, and faith.

• Intelligence
• Moving rapidly away from danger when needed
• Proper use of smoke screens (ink) in evading enemies
• Destroying negative barriers

Dream Alchemy

Strange dream from last night. Someone (a 15-year-old art teacher) told me to eat this plant called "Tipsy" and then I'd be able to see the "Shadow" when I ran in a circle...so I chewed it then forgot about it until Mike came in the room. Then everything started becoming dark. Looking up the plant on alchemy sites...the jagged, elongated leaves look similar to those of Vervain or Skullcap, but it was small and grew in clumps on the ground...kind of like a weed. I remember the taste of it and wanting to gag. I don't practice witchcraft or alchemy (I read about them), but I believe that we are taught things in our dreams so I pay attention! I did a google search and this interesting thing came up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calea_ternifolia "Calea ternifolia, also known as Calea zacatechichi, Dream Herb, Leaf of God, and Bitter Grass, is a plant used by the indigenous Chontal of the Mexican state of Oaxaca for oneiromancy (a form of divination based on dreams.)" I've never heard of "oneiromancy" before.

Some links of interest:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oneiromancy

 http://pansgrove.motd.org/2012/10/14/oneiromancy-the-magic-of-dreams/

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/9781444338386.wbeah15116/full

Driving Dreams (Ambition Dreams)

I believe that driving dreams are fairly common. I've had them often. The ones that stand out particularly to me, though, are the ones where I'm laying down while driving and am fearful of wrecking because I keep losing sight of the road. I had one of those last night.

From DreamMoods.com, "Overall, this dream (Car) symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life." 

For Driving, the site says this, "To dream that you are driving a vehicle signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals."

In last night's dream, I was near the ocean and there were shelves set up at the banks that held various objects found in the ocean, almost like an ocean store. Later the dream placed these objects in a building on shelves that was almost a lost and found, but really more like a thrift store that kind of morphed into a flea market. I was looking at the rows and rows of wonderful things and realized these things had been here for ages and no one was going to be getting them anytime soon so I decided to pick a few things out for myself to take home. The objects I chose were large and there were more things that I wanted, but couldn't carry. One of those was this really neat old record turntable sitting on top of its own shelf/cabinet. In the cabinet drawers were records, dart boards and other neat recreational things. There were a lot of people suddenly "shopping" in this store and a couple of them came over and were checking out the turntable. I told them I really wanted it, but couldn't take it so I was just going to leave it there. An old man was very interested in it, but said he also couldn't take it that day. Then another man gave me a check for $49 and some change. I was confused. He said, I can take it and this guy gave me the money for it so I'm going to pay you for it since you spotted it. I was wondering why I would get money when it wasn't mine and told him "no, you don't have to pay me, it's not mine" and he insisted so I obliged. Somehow I had another check given to me for $7. I was going through this flea market checking out all of the activity. Some vendors were selling food, etc. There was even a fresh fruit and vegetable counter and a couple of carts that they were signing volunteers up to pull around and hand out the fruits and veggies. When I went to my car I had the trunk open and a man came over (he's an event director named "Artie" on a catering chef show on tv) and he had all sorts of breads and stuff with him offering me some to take home. I chose a couple of different bags of rolls and breads and left. In the car I was deciding if I should deposit the checks in a new checking account that I open just for myself or if I take it home and give it to my husband. As I'm driving I realize my seat is leaning further and further back until I can't see over the dashboard. Then I realize I'm all the way in the back seat (I must be driving with my feet). I can barely see the road and realize the passenger headrest keeps blocking my view of the road. I keep trying to pull the driver's seat up and fix it back to sitting, but it's too heavy and I'm going around curves and so afraid I'm going to crash into oncoming cars or go off the road.

DreamMoods.com also says, "If your view is blocked or obstructed while you are driving, then it symbolizes your lacking awareness of something in your life. You are overlooking certain aspects in your life. Alternatively, the dream indicates dangers or problems that are not yet made known to you. If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are having difficulties in achieving your goals and accepting the changes associated with it."

I found this site, The Dream Well, that has an interesting way to break down and understand driving dreams:

Dreaming about cars and driving is a really rich territory to start understanding some of the fundamentals at work in our lives. 

The first things to consider are:- Who’s driving?  Who is actually at the wheel in your dream?  This often indicates who or what is controlling your ego or conscious mind.  Is it you?  Then you are probably making conscious decisions about your life.
- How do you feel about who’s driving?    If it’s you at the wheel and you can’t control the car, look for where in your life you feel you don’t have the control you want, or where you need to steer your life in another direction.
- Do you get to your destination, or do you get lost, break down or crash? A safe arrival is often a reassurance we are heading in the right direction in our life, but look for hints that might help us get there faster, or more directly, or more enjoyably.  Maybe your dream is saying to slow down and enjoy the scenic route – instead of rushing to a certain goal, maybe you need to enjoy the process!  Dreams of delays, crashing or being lost can indicate you need to take a look at your present course of action and see what needs changing.  Crashing can mean literally working so hard that your body “crashes” – this is a clear sign to take some rest, or slow down.  Crashing can also be related to your emotional state.  Maybe you have been in a relationship that has come to a sudden end, or you know one is about to (maybe deep down, but don’t want to admit to it,) or maybe you fear the relationship ending and feel “out of control.” Remember this is not a prophecy of what will happen, just a reflection of your own fears and subconscious beliefs.  Being lost in a car is like your soul being lost.  Doing dream work can help you find the direction you need to go.
Dreams of cars and driving are often rich in symbols, metaphors and signs.  Do you see a green light?  This could be telling you to start the thing you are waiting to start.  Are you driving in the dark without lights?  This could mean you feel in some area of your life you are “driving blind” without all the information you need to make decisions.  Are you on an open highway?  This could mean you feel free and optimistic about where you are heading in life.  Or it might mean you are feeling lonely and seeking the company of a town or people.  Are you stuck in traffic?  This could mean something in your life is frustrating you and preventing you from reaching your goals.  Or maybe it could be an opportunity to get out of the car and walk, to try a new approach.  Only you know where this applies to your own life.
Where do you want to go?
Car dreams ask us:
Who or what is “driving” us?  What beliefs and motivations and behaviours?  Do we want to keep them or do they need to change?
Where do we want to go?  Are we headed in the right direction in our life?  Do we need to change course?
How do we want to get there?  Do we need to slow down or hurry up?  Do we need to take a more scenic route, or stop and pick up something or someone that we may have lost or forgotten?
Who can help us get where we want, to achieve our goals?
What warning signs (often literally road signs) do we need to pay attention to?
While having a dream about driving can highlight where we feel distressed, confused or out of control, by making small changes in our life we can take the wheel of our own destiny, and drive our own lives forward with happy confidence.

Mouth Stuffed Full of Foreign Materials Dream

http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/mouth/

Standing outside of our house. There are people coming. There's a big event that has been planned for a while so its "that" Friday night. This girl that I remember from high school is there. Her name in real life is Lindsay, but in the dream she was "i-Lisa" and she was with a guy talking to Mike. I didn't know her and didn't know why she knew my husband so well. I am picking things up all in the front and start stuffing strips of materials, rocks all kinds of things into my mouth. i-Lisa is helping too. I go start pulling out materials (blankets, sheets, etc) that the cats had used for the winter so they were covered in cat hair and putting them in trash bags, cleaning up. Mike sheepishly tells them "we aren't very clean people" and I angrily look at him to say that's not true, but my mouth is stuffed. I can't participate in the conversations going on so I hurry inside, look around the kitchen..."it doesn't look that dirty to me," I think to myself. Then turn to the laundry room and start pulling all of these things out of my mouth. It is so overly stuffed that I am afraid I am going to choke to death and they will find me dead. 

Hawk Dream Symbolism

 When you have the hawk as a spirit animal, you may have a natural inclination to receive visions, either in dreams or awake. Your extra sensory abilities and intuition are supported by the power of this animal.

The hawk totem is strongly connected to the spiritual realms. When it shows up in your life, you may be called to pay attention and experience rapid spiritual development. As you develop your relationship with your totem, you may be inspired to feel your connection with spirit more fully.

"In representation to humanity, the hawk is called messenger, protector and visionary.  Keen vision is one of it's greatest gifts.  Hawks see things others miss.  
The hawk comes to you indicating that you are now awakening to your soul purpose, your reason for being here. It can teach you how to fly high while keeping yourself connected to the ground. 
As you rise to a higher level, your psychic energies are awakening and the hawk can help you to keep those senses in balance.  It's message for you is to be open to hope and new ideas, to extend the vision of your life.
The Hawk is an animal of flight.  It soars through the air looking down, and sees everything.  It has a larger perspective of what is going on down below.  With it’s keen eyesight, it looks down as it soars through the air looking for its pray.  It can see the smallest of creatures below.
The Hawk is known as a messenger, similar to the planet Mercury.  For the hawk soars close to the Grandfather Sun, as does the planet.  When you listen to the power of the Grandfather Sun or Wise Spirit that lives within, you are protected from all types of harm. 
The Hawk teaches you to be observant and take a close look at your soundings.  It soars with the power to overcome difficult situations.  It soars in circles over the life of the earth, asking you to circle over your life and view it from a higher perspective.  
The Hawk has a distinct cry, one that most people are aware of.  Its cry signifies awareness.  For one to be aware, or beware of your surroundings.  If you hear the cry of the hawk use your intuitive ability to discern the message and seek the truth.
If a hawk has soared into your life, you require a higher perspective.  You need to see the details of what is going on and look at the bigger picture.  Take a look at your situation from above."

I had a dream last night about a Hawk family in a tree in front of my house. Their nest was low, with a baby in it. Mom and dad were in nearby branches, my cats were on the ground, not paying attention to them. Two men, a couple were nearby. one of them saw another nest higher up and reached in and pulled out a bag of paper strips (they look like strips I'd cut of the inventory list of the book business I'd purchased). I viewed the scene from my front window. I was concerned the Hawks would hurt my cats (and not my cats hurting the baby Hawk). I walked out to see what was in the bag and the man said "well I'd hoped it was money" to which I replied "you and me both". Unlike in waking life, my house in the dream was a dead end street. Typing this reminds me of all of the time and effort I'd put into my bookselling business and lost money. My storage building is still full of hundreds of these books...maybe its time to get rid of them once and for all. (Click here to see a beautiful image of a Red-Shouldered Hawk and baby)

My preferred dream resource is Robert Moss. He had this to say about Hawk's as omens. 

"Since I started living in North America, the red-tailed hawk has been my most important bringer of omens. A hawk in good shape, flying my way or grabbing a good meal, will give me a surge of confidence for the day that has yet to be disappointed. A dead hawk in power lines will make me batten down the hatches and watch out for challenges."

I consider myself a student of dreams, symbolism, synchronicity, spirituality...I have direct experiences that solidify my belief in a larger picture to life on this planet. Very often I find life rhyming. I know I have a long way to go. I have finally started to get the hang of meditating. I had gone to a Buddhist Meditation Center the night I had the hawk dream...so this piece of insight is the one that resonated the most with me: 

From Hawk Medicince: 

Hawk can fly directly to the land of the Grandparents. Adventurour, assertive, headstrong, cherishes freedom. As an animal totem you probably enjoy a very active dreamlife, perhaps returning almost nightly with messages from Great Mystery. If you have only recently acquired Hawk as your spirit helper, you may expect to begin receiving much more profound dream visions. You will also probably start to notice a somewhat dramatic increase in your psychic abilities. As a spirit ally, you may rely on Hawk to be your trustworthy guide into the Silence. It will be of the utmost importance to Hawk that you proceed on your earthwalk with spiritual balance. 

Ascended Masters

I purchased these cards yesterday. I've drawn from them three times. Three times I've drawn the same "answer" card.

Double Happiness

This past Friday I helped a nonprofit animal rescue group get ready for a large fundraising yard sale. As I was going through boxes and sorting items into categories, I found this gem. I had to have it. I am a cat owner, rescuer, advocate and this necklace had kitty cats. I thought it was just beautiful so I purchased it. I went to a metaphysical shop on Sunday in search of a specific pendant following a dream I had (will post about that later). The shop owner took one look at this necklace and told me it was made of Jade, bone and stone. I did an image search today and learned that the symbol is Chinese for "Double Happiness" and is often given as a wedding gift. I just love it. 

Jade gemstone is one of the healing stones that has been used extensively in the past, especially in the ancient Eastern civilizations. This stone is therefore equally an ancient decorative mineral as it is a modern therapeutic tool. Jades are stones of peace and calm and can be extraordinary helpers and silent companions which are able to delicately promote their beneficial energies to help advance human consciousness to higher levels.

Due to their excellent general effectiveness, jade stones stand side by side with diamonds which are known as the most efficient gemstones of all. Owing to the widespread beliefs identifying jade as incarnation of the universal cosmic principles, jade has been treated as royal stone in many different cultures. 

Grandpa, General Star, Canon Law and First United Methodist Church

Had a dream that I was talking to my grandpa and an old military guy...I'm calling him "General Star". My grandpa had passed, but he was there talking to me. They showed me pictures I had (that I'd forgotten about) and told me to tell the people in them things...the General had me write his contact information on the back to contact for advice. He was explaining to me that his type of law is "Canon Law" whereas what my sis-in-law's (also named Starr) husband practices is "physical law"...As they got in the car to leave, I was frantic "WAIT, what when why how will we all stay together? When will we see you?" He said there was something coming up...maybe it was around our birthdays (His was Aug 26, mine Aug 27)...they got in the car and left and I started looking through these pictures of him that I'd never seen before.

 

I had a dream a couple of nights ago, the night Grandpa died I believe, that a member of the media was telling me to look up a preacher in the yellow pages to do a ceremony. She said look up father so and so at First United Methodist Church. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I forget the name of the preacher. Fast forward to the day of Grandpa's memorial service. I was on my way to Wal-mart to make copies of pictures of Grandpa to make a bulletin board for the service. On my way there was a logging truck two cars in front of me with HUGE logs. I was nervous because of that movie, Final Destination...there was a scene where someone in my position was killed by the logs falling off of the truck...so as I'm thinking this, the truck SWERVES and goes into the median, dust is everywhere...then the car in front of me swerves and a car to the right of us...I look down and there is a tiny animal dodging all of these cars, I swerve to miss it too. It runs into the median...it's a tiny dog. I pull over and run after it, it's a tiny, elderly Dapple Dachsund.

It is looking at me with one good eye, and one covered with a cataract. I try to reach down to pet it, to see if I can grab it, but it bolts into the traffic on the OTHER side of the road. Thankfully the oncoming cars were far enough away so I run across the road and chase it up a hill to get it away from traffic, then run back to my car. My heart was racing...I get back on the road and drive, reeling from what just happened...look up at the exact moment and see a church on a hill: "First United Methodist Church" with a sign that says "God wants full custody." WTF? 

White Tiger Dream

Dreamt of a White Tiger...it came out of the ceiling, through the upper cabinet in my kitchen. I had reserved fear, but gave it a chance to show its intention...I ended up sleeping next to it in my bed. It was content, I could not completely relax, though. I was somewhat at ease, but in the back of my mind I felt that it could turn on me at any moment and attack.

He was very large, and somewhat fluffy. Beautiful.

While lying there, I was repeating over and over to myself the "Latin" name for this particular tiger. I cannot remember what it was, now, but for some reason I feel it had something to do with Africa.

White Tiger Symbolism:

The White Tiger is one of the Four Symbols of the Chinese constellations. It is sometimes called the White Tiger of the West (西方白虎, Xī Fāng Bái Hǔ), and is known as Baihu in Chinese, Byakko in Japanese, Baekho in Korean and Bạch Hổ in Vietnamese. It represents the west and the autumn season.

During the Han Dynasty, people believed the tiger to be the king of all beasts. According to legend the tiger's tail would turn into white when it reached the age of 500 years. In this way, the white tiger became a kind of mythological creature. It was said that the white tiger would only appear when the emperor ruled with absolute virtue, or if there was peace throughout the world. Because the color white of the Chinese five elements also represents the west, the white tiger thus became a mythological guardian of the west.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Tiger_(Chinese_constellation)




 

Your thoughts create...

Thoughts can destroy and thoughts can create. Once you are aware of the power of your thoughts, you can stop negativity in its tracks. If you are thinking it and it doesn't feel good, STOP. Stop thinking about things you cannot control. Worrying does nothing. Every negative thought can be turned around. If you are having a terrible day, think about something that you can appreciate in your immediate surroundings. Focus on that good thought. Once you start focusing on the positive, you draw positive things and people to you. If you focus on pain, you feel pain. If you focus on joy, you feel joy.

Revival

I stopped writing because...

I was criticized
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I felt incompetent as a writer
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I felt my story was insignificant
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I became a mother
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Excuse after excuse.

I think, actually, I stopped writing in order to live, to experience, to have worthy subjects to ponder.

We all have this gift to a degree, but I think I've found an answer for myself here especially.

Also called Empaths

Clairsentience (feeling/touching)

In the field of parapsychology, clairsentience is a form of extra-sensory perception wherein a person acquires psychic knowledge primarily by feeling.^[23] The word is from the French clair, “clear,” + sentience, “feeling,” and is ultimately derived from the Latin clarus, “clear,” + sentiens, derived from sentire, “to feel”.

In addition to parapsychology, the term also plays a role in some religions. For example: clairsentience is one of the six human special functions mentioned or recorded inBuddhism. It is an ability that can be obtained at advanced meditation level. Generally the term refers to a person who can feel the vibration of other people. There are many different degrees of clairsentience ranging from the perception of diseases of other people to the thoughts or emotions of other people. The ability differs from third eye in that this kind of ability cannot have a vivid picture in the mind. Instead, a very vivid feeling can form.

SQuire Rushnell's Godwink Stories Video Page- Beliefnet.com

SQuire Rushnell's Godwink Stories Video Page- Beliefnet.com

"Coincidence is God's Way of Remaining Anonymous"

The Thirteen Gatekeepers-Last Night's Dream

I have been on a spiritual journey for quite some time. It is ever-evolving as I learn more and more about myself, being human, being spiritual and understanding the universe. I'm taken back to Buddhism time and again. Most recently, I was forwarded an e-mail by an acquaintance about a small meditation circle that meets on Sundays. I've always wanted to learn how to meditate, but never could sit still quite long enough to get in that zone. This group follows the teachings of Anam Thubten. I was able to read an excerpt from his book "No Self, No Problem" and found it to be very on point, down-to-earth and oh-so-enlightening. He's all about the "Keep It Simple, Stupid" style of teaching. I found that in the 30 minutes of meditating in that group, answers to questions and issues I've had for a long time came pouring through me. I wanted to tell everyone, but, of course, my questions weren't the same as theirs, I'm sure. I felt like I was bursting with joy and just wanted to share it with SOMEONE, but I suppose we are all on our own journey and come to places of wonder individually. It's exasperating to me to try to share what I've learned with someone that's not able to experience my wonder. I truly believe in this saying that I read a long time ago..."When the student is ready, the teacher will come." I find that when someone is ready to hear what I am learning, they will inquire, so there's no point in trying to explain it to someone that's not there yet. I digress. I titled this blog before I started writing. I wanted to record this interesting phrase that came to mind as soon as I woke up this morning, "The 13 Gatekeepers"...it kept repeating in my head, like a song that gets stuck there and won't go away. I decided to look it up to see what in the world is out there about thirteen gatekeepers (other than the haunted house, The 13th Gate, in downtown BR...hmmm...now I wonder where they came up with THAT name). I found this link about the Thirteen  Gates of Necronomicon, which I've never in my life heard of before. I did a google search and found this has to do with the Anunnaki gods of creation...interesting. Never heard of them either, but definitely want to research this further. It's about the Babylonian worldview of creation and has been debated about having an influence on the book of Genesis.

This is a dream I'll definitely have to go back into. Very interesting.

Update: Since this dream I have found my birth father and learned of my Jewish heritage. I have had an interest in Kabballah and Jewish Mysticism so I decided to plug that in along with "13 gatekeepers" and came up with this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/13_(number)#Judaism

In religion

[edit]Roman Catholicism

The apparitions of the Virgin of Fátima in 1917 were claimed to occur on the 13th of six consecutive months.^[3]

[edit]Sikhism

According to famous Sakhi (Evidence) or story of Guru Nanak Dev Ji, when he was an accountant at a town of Sultanpur Lodhi, he was distributing grocery to people and when he gave groceries to the 13th person he stopped there because in Gurmukhi and Hindi the word 13 is called Terah, which means yours. And Guru Nanak kept on saying, "Yours, yours, yours..." remembering God. People reported to the emperor that Guru Nanak was giving out free food to the people. When treasures were checked, there was more money than before.

The Vaisakhi which commemorates the creation of "Khalsa" or pure Sikh was celebrated on April 13 for many years.

[edit]Judaism

• In Judaism, 13 signifies the age at which a boy matures and becomes a Bar Mitzvah (Age of 12 for Girls, or Bat Mitzvah).
• The number of principles of Jewish faith according to Maimonides.
• According to Rabbinic commentary on the Torah, God has 13 Attributes of Mercy.
• The number of circles, or "nodes", that make up Metatron's Cube in Kaballistic teachings.

[edit]Other

• In Mesoamerican divination, 13 is the number of important cycles of fortune/misfortune (see Trecena).
• 13 is the age that a Pagan or Wiccan usually starts to learn Witchcraft.^{[dubious – discuss]}
• Traditionally, there are 13 witches in a Wiccan coven.^{[citation needed]}

[edit]Unlucky 13

Main article: Triskaidekaphobia

The number 13 is associated with bad luck in some countries, and even has a specifically recognized phobia, Triskaidekaphobia, a word which was coined in 1911. Friday the 13th has been considered an unlucky day since the 1800s, as a combination between an unlucky day, Friday, and the number 13. Another theory as to why the date and number 13 is considered unlucky is that, on the day of Friday the 13^th after the final Crusade the pope had sent out men to capture and burn alive the last 13 Knights Templar in order to put an end to the Crusades.

A second theory links the bad luck associated with the number 13 with Jesus Christ's last supper where the persons around the table, counting the Christ and the twelve apostles, was, indeed, thirteen. This would also be the reason why it is considered unlucky to have 13 guests at a table. Noting there has never been any Christian writing or work which states the number 13 as being unlucky. In Christianity the gathering of Jesus Christ and the 12 Apostles is considered very positive.

Another theory states that the number 13 is unlucky because, when in years where there were 13 full moons instead of 12, it made it difficult for the monks who were in charge of the calendars. "This was considered a very unfortunate circumstance, especially by the monks who had charge of the calendar of thirteen months for that year, and it upset the regular arrangement of church festivals. For this reason thirteen came to be considered an unlucky number."^[4]

[edit]Lucky 13

See also: Lucky 13

In Sikhism, the number 13 is considered a special number since 13 is tera in Punjabi, which also means "yours" (as in, "I am yours, O Lord"). The legend goes that when Guru Nanak Dev was taking stock of items as part of his employment with a village merchant, he counted from 1 to 13 (in Punjabi) as one does normally; and thereafter he would just repeat "tera", since all items were God's creation. The merchant confronted Guru Nanak about this, but found everything to be in order after the inventory was checked. April 13 also usually turns out to be Vaisakhi every year, which is the Sikh New Year and the major Sikh Holiday.

Several successful sports figures have worn the number 13. Ozzie Guillén, manager of the 2005 World Series Champion Chicago White Sox, has worn the number throughout his baseball career. Alex Rodriguez began wearing it upon joining the New York Yankees (three, the number he had previously worn, is retired by the Bronx Bombers to honorBabe Ruth). Dan Marino, an American football player known for passing the 2nd most yards in NFL history, wore the number 13. Basketball great Wilt Chamberlain wore the number 13 on his jersey throughout his NBA career. Also, FIBA rules require a player to wear the number in international competitions (only numbers from 4 to 15 could be worn, and as there are 12 players, one must wear 13); Chris Mullin, who wore #20 in college and #17 in the NBA, wore #13 for both (1984 and 1992) of his Olympic appearances.Shaquille O'Neal wore #13 in 1996; Tim Duncan wore #13 in 2004. Steve Nash is currently wearing it for the Phoenix Suns. Yao Ming wore it in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.Mats Sundin, Pavel Datsyuk, Bill Guerin, and Michael Cammalleri wear 13 in the NHL. One of Iceland's all time best handball players, Sigurður Sveinsson, wore the number 13 when he played for the national team. In association football, both Gerd Müller and Michael Ballack have favoured the number 13, among others.

In Italy, 13 is also considered to be a lucky number, although in Campania the expression 'tredici' (meaning 13) is said when one considers their luck to have turned for the worse.

Colgate University also considers 13 to be a lucky number. They were founded in 1819 by 13 men with 13 dollars, 13 prayers and 13 articles.^[5] (To this day, members of the Colgate community consider the number 13 a good omen.) In fact, the campus address is 13 Oak Drive in Hamilton, New York, and the male a cappella group is called the Colgate 13.

In the Mayan Tzolk'in calender, trecenas mark cycles of 13 day periods. The pyramids are also set up in 9 steps divided into 7 days and 6 nights, 13 days total.

[edit]Coperos

The number 13 in the Coperos religion (small culture in brazil) is like a God number. All coperos must know that this number can save the humankind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_principles_of_faith#Maimonides.27_13_principles_of_faith

Maimonides' 13 principles of faith

13 Principles of Faith:

1. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, is the Creator and Guide of everything that has been created; He alone has made, does make, and will make all things.
2. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, is One, and that there is no unity in any manner like His, and that He alone is our God, who was, and is, and will be.
3. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, has no body, and that He is free from all the properties of matter, and that there can be no (physical) comparison to Him whatsoever.
4. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, is the first and the last.
5. I believe with perfect faith that to the Creator, Blessed be His Name, and to Him alone, it is right to pray, and that it is not right to pray to any being besides Him.
6. I believe with perfect faith that all the words of the prophets are true.
7. I believe with perfect faith that the prophecy of Moses our teacher, peace be upon him, was true, and that he was the chief of the prophets, both those who preceded him and those who followed him.
8. I believe with perfect faith that the entire Torah that is now in our possession is the same that was given to Moses our teacher, peace be upon him.
9. I believe with perfect faith that this Torah will not be exchanged, and that there will never be any other Torah from the Creator, Blessed be His Name.
10. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, knows all the deeds of human beings and all their thoughts, as it is written, "Who fashioned the hearts of them all, Who comprehends all their actions" (Psalms 33:15).
11. I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, rewards those who keep His commandments and punishes those that transgress them.
12. I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah; and even though he may tarry, nonetheless, I wait every day for his coming.
13. I believe with perfect faith that there will be a revival of the dead at the time when it shall please the Creator, Blessed be His name, and His mention shall be exalted for ever and ever.

-Maimonides

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metatron