Over 1000 years of history!

I joined Ancestry.com this weekend & filled in the names of all of the relatives that I know. It’s so important to me to know where I come from. I’ve always felt so disconnected because I never knew my dad & didn’t really know my mom either. I still don’t know anything about my dad but his name, but I did manage to trace different lines of my family back over 1000 years! How freaking exciting is that?! I even found pictures of some of my ancestors & tidbits of information about them, even a famous legend that involves one of my oldest ancestors! For anyone who would like to know where they come from, it’s worth every penny!

Easter

This weekend was busy. I helped my cousin, Crickie, with a yard sale at my mom’s house on Saturday...now I see why Ebay is so popular...it’s A LOT of work to set up, run, & take down a yard sale. Whew! Mike & Isaac had the whole day alone together. They came & visited for a while, but then Isaac started getting a heat rash (it was almost 89 degrees!)...so Mike had to take him back home. When I finally made it home, Isaac was loving his daddy so much that he couldn’t take his eyes off of him! Today Mike went to Wal-Mart to get groceries & stuff (while Isaac & I slept in). He came home with an Easter basket that he proudly assembled himself complete with blue grass & tons of new bath toys (bathtime is their father/son bonding time) for Isaac. I’m just so glad that they had that day together...the first official day that Isaac has had away from his mommy & vice versa. Later we decided to go to some open houses that our agent told us about. I’m happy to announce that we have narrowed our search down to ONE TOWN! We’ve chosen Prairieville for a variety of reasons. It really makes the search a lot less stressful...that & the fact that we aren’t in a time crunch this time!

I remember what a big deal Easter used to be growing up. It was the one day of the year that my Grandpa (actually, my brother & sister’s grandpa...he wasn’t really MY grandpa) would go to church. Their whole family would go to the grandparents’ house for a yearly Easter family reunion. I looked forward to it more than Christmas even! Once I turned 14 & moved away from Arkansas to move to Louisiana to be with my mom, that changed. No more going to church with the family, no more family reunions, no more seeing the family I grew up knowing...geesh, that sounds kind of depressing. The point is that I really haven’t celebrated Easter for a long time & don’t really know how to. When Isaac gets older he can get dressed up & go Easter-egg hunting with his cousins. Once we buy our house I’d like to find a church to start going to. That’s hard because most churches I’ve been to are the same exact thing...preachy preachy preachy. It sounds a little contradictory, but I know there has to be one out there that I could tolerate. I want Isaac to have the education & structure that having a church family provides. I really do owe a lot of credit for who I am today to my step-Grandmother who made sure we went to church every week & participated fully in everything. I may not like the preachiness of it all, but I want Isaac to be able to make his own decisions when he’s an adult about what he believes in. I at least want to provide the background for him to base his decisions on. I plan to teach him about the variety of religions & how there isn’t a superior religion or people & to beware of anyone who says otherwise. Anyway...this has turned into a tangent. Oh & I got a new Avon customer. I’m so excited simply because I tried out a marketing idea of my own & it worked!!! Woohoo! I am just getting started & have been advertising for customers, but somehow have 3 people signed up under me already (two of which are my Aunt & Cousin). I didn’t even set out to recruit people...if I get 2 more I’m a Unit Leader & will get bonuses...that’s nuts because I’m still in training! I’m really glad I signed up. I feel like I have a new purpose.

Reminiscing

I just went through boxes of memories of lifetimes ago. Pain & happiness. People alive & smiling who are now long gone. Letters from people I loved, obituaries & tears. I don’t know why I hold on to them. When I see some things I smile as I relive the memory for a moment. Others bring pain & tears. I feel like I should throw these things out, but then I’m afraid the memory will be lost forever.

From Disillusioned College Student to Self-employment

"It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to." ~Annie Gottlier

It's funny how things just seem to happen at the right time. I feel like I've been on a good path, but it's still kinda felt like one of those "desert" periods. You know, when everything just seems to be at a lull...but not now. I have my wonderful husband & now my beautiful son. This lifestyle change took a little adjusting to get used to, but I am SO HAPPY!

One of the hardest, biggest changes has been adjusting to life after college. I spent 8 years of my life as a college student & before that pretty much my whole life revolved around school (call me a nerd I LOVED school since I began at age 4). When I entered the workforce after graduating in 2005 I was so miserable. I hated sitting at a desk Monday-Friday dealing with people & their problems & the shortcomings of someone else's business. I was tired of my ideas not being heard & my solutions to problems being ignored.

I have had so much energy & ideas pent up inside of me trying to burst out, but I just couldn't find the right outlet. I was so demoralized by the selection of jobs out there. I just couldn't get into the job search. I could care less if someone wanted to hire me or not because I really didn't want any of the jobs I was applying for. I knew I didn't want to work for someone else. I didn't want to get paid an hourly wage. I wanted to work when I wanted to work. I wanted to benefit financially from the amount of effort that I put in. Now that I'm a mom, I want to stay home rather than putting Isaac in daycare, but I don't want to just be a housewife. You can take the lady out of the career, but you can't take the career out of the lady! I don't want to pursue something that will require me to go back to school before I can get started...I've spend enough time sitting on my behind all day everyday at a desk. Someday is here now. I want to be my own boss Now. Not when I have enough money to buy a traditional business. Not when I have the "right" education to get the "good" job. I really prefer being the one running the show, but I don't want to reinvent the wheel.

Last week the answer seemed to fall down from heavan. Somehow something just clicked! It's an idea I've had in the past, but it was never the right time & the circumstances were never right. For instance, I had registered as an Arbonne International representative last year after quitting the Princeton Review, but never placed a single order...I just couldn't afford the stuff...especially being jobless! Well, my renewal came up last week...it was $15. I was thinking that it would be a complete waste since I never did anything with it for a year. I just wasn't interested enough in it. Plus I had a lot on my plate. My grandmother was very ill & passed away last April. I was so depressed. I was pregnant & dealing with all of those hormones. I was looking for a house for a while, although it ended up having to wait another year (soon we will begin again though), I had a wedding to plan & a honeymoon to attend & finally the birth of my beautiful baby. I also sold Mary Kay while in college, but I was so overextended I could barely squeeze enough time in to sleep at night. I sold Avon when I was 18, but really just wasn't ready. I didn't have a lot of job experience & noone really mentored me. They just signed you up & basically threw you in & said "sink or swim". I mainly just bought stuff for myself so it defeated the whole "making money" thing. I tried it again when I moved back to Louisiana from Ohio, but I was so depressed & miserable that I couldn't get my mind right. I was way too easily discouraged at that time. One thing you definitely need in that kind of business is a positive attitude & I just didn't have it.

Now it's a new year & a new beginning. My family is adjusting to our new life together. We've been financially squeezed with our huge wedding debt, paying for the tremendous amount of medical bills (despite having INSURANCE), and STILL trying to save $ to buy a house this summer. We basically afford the necessities, pay the bills & everything else goes to savings. I'm a FEMALE, though, & there are just things beyond food & shelter that a girl needs! I haven't been able to get my hair done because it's so expensive. I hate going to cheap places because it seems like they always manage to destroy my hair & I always leave regretting that I had gone there. I love shopping & really need clothes, especially because my body has completely changed after the birth of my son. I have an entire wardrobe of clothes that don't fit me. I'd love to join a gym, but it's just a luxuary I can't afford right now. I also really need a new car, I'm afraid mine will not last much longer.

I had been racking my brain trying to figure out a way that I could start contributing financially while not sacrificing what it was I was looking for in a career. I knew direct-selling was the path for me. It would use all of the skills I have been building upon all of these years as a student & working. I knew it would give me the freedom to pursue my ambitions while providing a structure & support system to help me be successful. I remembered that it was only $10 to sign up for Avon. It occurred to me that rather than renewing Arbonne for $15 when I didn't even use it in the first place, why not try Avon out again in these new circumstances. It was like a lightbulb went off. I immediately called the Avon office & told them I want to sign up. An hour later I was at the office picking up my new representative kit. I've been working on something for Avon everyday since.

It's like my passion has been renewed!!! I love the training & support they offer. I love that the name "Avon" speaks for itself. I love that I can actually AFFORD their stuff & I love that I'm selling a brand that I've loved since childhood! Finally, I've found something I can get excited about. I remember as a child going door-to-door with my stepmom delivering catalogs. I remember the excitement of getting the orders in, bagging them up & distributing them. It made me feel kinda like Santa Claus. I remember as a teenager my mom & Grandma being involved in Avon. I knew every Christmas I'd be getting my favorites. I haven't actually been a customer for years & actually miss my favorite products so much. There's just something different about shopping at Wal-Mart or a department store...kinda impersonal & with noone to help me decide what's best for me to use.

Now I'm taking the Avon training courses online & learning so much. It's going to give me the confidence I need to represent the product to potenial customers. Now I have so much more job experience & I know what it takes to run a business. I'm without a doubt in the right frame of mind. I'm bursting with positivity. I KNOW I will be successful. I plan on making the bulk of my money from doing fundraisers once I'm confident enough in my knowledge to approach different groups who could benefit. Of course I'll do the individual stuff as well, but that part usually builds slowly as you begin to gain loyal, repeat customers. I know that takes a while. My goal is to do one fundraiser by this summer to contribute to our down payment.

This is my personal story, but I know that so many people experience this type of struggle. If you have a dream, but lack confidence or experience, don't let that stop you. Find a mentor, join a support group, read everything about your dream that you can find. Like the Nike slogan says..."Just Do It"! Do something to work towards that dream everyday. Every journey starts with a single step, just remember that.